551. Push Away from the Table -- Electronically speaking, and wisdom for the family!

In this age of technology, it is easy to become consumed by it, and it may take up our time more than it should.  Here are good ideas for Christmas, and every day!

Friday Minute: Push Away From the Table

By Wm J. Monahan · December 3, 2015, from Meridian Magazine

My dad used to say, “Push away from the table while you’re still a little hungry.” Pushing away is also sage advice for those willing to restrict the glut of media and entertainment overeating. In a feeding frenzy of high-fat entertainment and lewd low-fashion disguised as virtual virtue, the world is digesting itself. The more it feeds, the more it needs.

While many are enamored with sizzle over substance and the latest gadgets and platforms, content and message still matter. Protecting your family from electronic overload is essential. The problem with addiction to the virtual world is that real addiction is not virtual.

I am not suggesting the elimination of electronic devices, the Internet or worthy entertainment and recreation, but I once heard Elder Paul Pieper of the Seventy teach, “There is no virtual heaven.” Our choices matter. So how do we guide our family to filter the cacophony of information carny-barkers and entertainment carpet-bombers who are so pervasive in today’s electronic world?

Here are three suggestions for choosing nutritionally worthy media, entertainment and recreational time for you and your family:

1. Prioritize: You wouldn’t plan a dinner menu of ambrosia-only dessert, or begin a diet on a week of junk food. Even the “good stuff” must be balanced in favor of the better-for-you main course. And you certainly wouldn’t allow a stranger to decide where you go, what your family does and who you become. Why then, are we sometimes too lazy to plan and prioritize? Have the courage to say enough is enough. Once you plan a schedule for worthy entertainment and recreation, don’t allow the schedule to control your life.The clock and the calendar are tools, not tasks. The schedule is not the end but the means. Never allow the schedule to schedule your character. As an example, prioritizing personal and family TV is not about the TV guide, but about wants and habits. May I suggest you unplug from unplanned TV. Cold turkey works for some but isn’t always best, particularly when worthy programming occasionally graces the airwaves. Truth is, I’m probably addicted to the Hallmark Channel’s holiday lineup, so I’m not sure what that reveals about my character, but you get the idea.
   You can also prioritize the use-time and content of your children’s electronic devices. Place computers and other electronic devices in dedicated family-public areas of your home. The bedroom is not a safe place for social media. Besides, allowing your children to become bedroom hermits is not very “social.” Know what your children are watching, listening to and the people to whom they are giving their hearts and time. Involve your children and spouse in what is best for your family. Johnny’s video-game time and Mary’s tweets may have to take a back seat to their spiritual and physical health and your family’s well-being. By definition, prioritizing anything means that some good things will be deleted in favor of what is best for your family. Have the courage to prioritize.

2. Family dinner-hour: Now that you are committed to prioritizing your family’s media, entertainment and recreation, consider sitting down to dinner with your family every night, without fail. If your schedule and employment make that impossible, try dedicating two or three nights a week to a family dinner-hour. I have no proof, but my sense is that family dinner-hour is a dead dinosaur. You can reanimate that wonderful fossil. Talk to your spouse and children during dinner and figure out what works and what doesn’t work. Is there an activity, even a worthy one, which is taffy-pulling the family apart? Don’t forget Family Home Evening and a night to unplug the cell phones, Internet, video games and headphone invaders. If you don’t schedule a regular dinner-hour, who will? A family dinner-hour, like prioritizing itself, is not a matter of the calendar but a call to commit to your family’s welfare. If you can’t arrange a family dinner-hour, you can still schedule sit-down time where the family counsels together for its health and well-being.

3. Stop Hoarding. May I suggest this exercise is the hoarder’s worst nightmare. The trouble is we are all hoarders of something, be it the remote control, our favorite hobby, or even our pride. Hoarding our pride can fiercely upbraid our willingness to change. Choose prayerfully and wisely. Be open to change. Elder Dallin H. Oaks counseled, “In choosing how we spend time as a family, we should be careful not to exhaust our available time on things that are merely good and leave little time for that which is better or best” (Dallin H. Oaks, “Good, Better, Best,” Ensign, November, 2007).As you decide what is best for your family, discuss with your children the amount of time and resources spent on communication and entertainment each week. Be willing to change the age-limit up or down for age-appropriate devices. In deciding what is best and what is merely good or desirable, remember that deciding to push away from the table is a choice that takes discipline and consistency. It is not always pleasant to restrict some enjoyable activities. In the long run, we become that to which we give our hearts. The Savior said it best: “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also” (Matthew 6:21).