4. Thoughts on achieving balance in life
Achieving balance in life: I have decided that I wanted to state a theme for each post so it will show when you read it. I have always loved the scripture in Mosiah (Book of Mormon) chapter 4, parts of verse 26, and verse 27: Page 157.
For the sake of retaining a remission of your sins from day to day, that ye may walk guiltless before God -- I would that ye should impart of your substance to the poor, every man according to that which he hath, such as feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, visiting the sick and administering to their relief, both spiritually and temporally, according to their wants. (Those things are very much needed today in today's world!)
And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order.
When we got married in 1955, I didn't know for sure that I would have a large family. My mother always wanted more children than the 3 girls she had, and so I had felt that if I were able, I wanted to have as many children as I could. By the time our oldest was 5, we had 4 children, and we did slow down some. That was in the days before disposable diapers, and dishwashers. I remember the scripture above being such a comfort to me, as I felt often that I was running faster than I had strength. I see young mothers today and I have a very strong empathy for their challenges. But many of them also work outside the home, which I did not do. I did teach piano lessons after school off and on -- between babies. My husband was a school teacher, and we had an average living, but the money from teaching piano lessons always helped. In fact, it helped pay for music lessons that several of our children had from other teachers. I found out early that children usually don't learn as well from a parent, especially on the piano. But I did teach some of ours for awhile.
At a time when we had 1 daughter married, and 2 others in college, with 6 children at home, I was teaching 15 piano students, and was head of the "road show", which is around a 15 minute music and theater project which was done with the teen agers in our Church. For about a month all my teeth ached, and I went to a dentist and had anything fixed. Then I began having headaches, and would wake up with my teeth clenched. At that time I went to a good chiropractor, and after my sobbing to him about how I felt, he told me I was a "hair's breath away from a nervous breakdown" and that I had "adrenalin exhaustion", and that I was to learn to say "No!" Incidentally the week before in Church they asked for people to help at the cannery, and if that wasn't possible, could we help take care of small children of those who could go to the cannery. I already had the headaches and offered to tend children, thinking that staying at home wouldn't be as stressful. I ended up having people come with 10 preschoolers, which I cared for around 4 hours! I believe it was the next day I really fell apart, and went to the chiropractor.
He told me I needed to learn to say "No!", and to write it on a paper 24 times a day, and use it with my children, the Church, my husband, whoever kept asking me to serve them. My husband had to call my 15 piano students, and the Church about the road show, as I couldn't talk without crying. My one youngest child, then about 3, sat in front of "Sesame Street" for hours, and I had naps in the morning and afternoon, and a long night's rest. I went to the chiropractor 3 times a week for 6 weeks, and I truly wondered if I would ever have any energy the rest of my life. He told me when my body was rested, that I would gain my strength back. I worked at exercising gradually, and finally got feeling some energy.
I believe I was one of those people who believe they can do anything they put their minds to. And I found out that I did have a breaking point! Since then, I never have been that bad, and I have learned to say "No!" --- But I believe the last part of that scripture is also important -- that of being "diligent" -- and in order. We shouldn't give up, but use wisdom and order. I remember years ago that Darle Hoole was well known as a writer of homemaking books. She said to remember there was a time when it was more important to have clean baby bottles than a clean front room (if a choice had to be made) -- and often it was the front room that got neglected in our house!
There are many times our families can use our help. We have been "empty nesters" for many years now, but it is always so rewarding to be able to help when we have had new grandchildren; help with weddings, and the many preparations, help fix dinners for missionary farewells and homecomings, etc. ( We have Sunday Dinner at our house each Sunday, and have games after -- but that's another story! -- ) I realize that often our help can be the difference to some of the very busy and stressed mothers in our family to be able to avoid a near breakdown such as I had. So now I'm leaving the computer to help prepare food for one of our grandson's missionary homecoming celebration tomorrow morning -- (November 17, 2013)
For the sake of retaining a remission of your sins from day to day, that ye may walk guiltless before God -- I would that ye should impart of your substance to the poor, every man according to that which he hath, such as feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, visiting the sick and administering to their relief, both spiritually and temporally, according to their wants. (Those things are very much needed today in today's world!)
And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order.
When we got married in 1955, I didn't know for sure that I would have a large family. My mother always wanted more children than the 3 girls she had, and so I had felt that if I were able, I wanted to have as many children as I could. By the time our oldest was 5, we had 4 children, and we did slow down some. That was in the days before disposable diapers, and dishwashers. I remember the scripture above being such a comfort to me, as I felt often that I was running faster than I had strength. I see young mothers today and I have a very strong empathy for their challenges. But many of them also work outside the home, which I did not do. I did teach piano lessons after school off and on -- between babies. My husband was a school teacher, and we had an average living, but the money from teaching piano lessons always helped. In fact, it helped pay for music lessons that several of our children had from other teachers. I found out early that children usually don't learn as well from a parent, especially on the piano. But I did teach some of ours for awhile.
At a time when we had 1 daughter married, and 2 others in college, with 6 children at home, I was teaching 15 piano students, and was head of the "road show", which is around a 15 minute music and theater project which was done with the teen agers in our Church. For about a month all my teeth ached, and I went to a dentist and had anything fixed. Then I began having headaches, and would wake up with my teeth clenched. At that time I went to a good chiropractor, and after my sobbing to him about how I felt, he told me I was a "hair's breath away from a nervous breakdown" and that I had "adrenalin exhaustion", and that I was to learn to say "No!" Incidentally the week before in Church they asked for people to help at the cannery, and if that wasn't possible, could we help take care of small children of those who could go to the cannery. I already had the headaches and offered to tend children, thinking that staying at home wouldn't be as stressful. I ended up having people come with 10 preschoolers, which I cared for around 4 hours! I believe it was the next day I really fell apart, and went to the chiropractor.
He told me I needed to learn to say "No!", and to write it on a paper 24 times a day, and use it with my children, the Church, my husband, whoever kept asking me to serve them. My husband had to call my 15 piano students, and the Church about the road show, as I couldn't talk without crying. My one youngest child, then about 3, sat in front of "Sesame Street" for hours, and I had naps in the morning and afternoon, and a long night's rest. I went to the chiropractor 3 times a week for 6 weeks, and I truly wondered if I would ever have any energy the rest of my life. He told me when my body was rested, that I would gain my strength back. I worked at exercising gradually, and finally got feeling some energy.
I believe I was one of those people who believe they can do anything they put their minds to. And I found out that I did have a breaking point! Since then, I never have been that bad, and I have learned to say "No!" --- But I believe the last part of that scripture is also important -- that of being "diligent" -- and in order. We shouldn't give up, but use wisdom and order. I remember years ago that Darle Hoole was well known as a writer of homemaking books. She said to remember there was a time when it was more important to have clean baby bottles than a clean front room (if a choice had to be made) -- and often it was the front room that got neglected in our house!
There are many times our families can use our help. We have been "empty nesters" for many years now, but it is always so rewarding to be able to help when we have had new grandchildren; help with weddings, and the many preparations, help fix dinners for missionary farewells and homecomings, etc. ( We have Sunday Dinner at our house each Sunday, and have games after -- but that's another story! -- ) I realize that often our help can be the difference to some of the very busy and stressed mothers in our family to be able to avoid a near breakdown such as I had. So now I'm leaving the computer to help prepare food for one of our grandson's missionary homecoming celebration tomorrow morning -- (November 17, 2013)
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