142. Sweet story of Ruth and Pratt's courtship, and early marriage days during the depression.
My Eternal Companion
I first met Pratt Miles, my husband, while I was in College at Dixie. We were in the same ward and worked together in M.I.A. He was chairman of the Young Men's Program for each M.I.A. night and I for Young Ladies. I was 19 years old, and he was 35 years old. We worked very closely together and became good friends; But -- I was in college with all its excitement and he, 16 years older than I was, a man about town -- a barber and divorcee, so we had nothing in common except our Church positions. Occasionally there was an M.I.A. party or dance we enjoyed together.
Our paths separated and I didn't see much of him for about 3 years. I was teaching in Enterprise and one evening he appeared on the scene. Just dropped by to say "Hello," as he was passing through.
I had a date that night, so the 3 of us visited and rode around together. They both seemed to be at ease, which is more than I can say for myself. Another year went by and I was in Santa Clara teaching, and he was leaving for a short term mission. I went to his farewell and enjoyed a dance or two with him. (Missionary farewells included a dance, and I always enjoyed dancing with Pratt, especially a waltz.) His short term mission which was to have been 6 months, lasted 16 months, I guess till his funds ran out. He was his own sole support, his mission being in Tennessee.
I remember the wonderful talk he gave and how clean cut, well groomed and handsome he looked that night when he returned. It was Stake Conference, and there was always a dance after Church on such occasions. I enjoyed dancing with him again, and when he said, "I supposed when I returned you'd be married," to which I jokingly said, "Oh no, I was waiting for you!." Actually at the time I was engaged, but things weren't going too smoothly.
It was not long until he came to our home and asked me to sing a duet with him, one he and a Sister Wright had sung many times in the mission field. When he left, mother said, "Now, that young man is not just looking for someone to sing with. If you are not interested in anything but singing with him, act accordingly, and do nothing to hurt him." Mother was pretty perceptive.
Well, we were soon singing duets, not only in St. George, but all southern Utah. Also we formed a mixed quartet with Mrs. Alice Cannon and Brother Will Whitehead. We were good, and in constant demand. I only have to close my eyes to hear Will's deep bass voice getting lower and lower in "Beautiful Isle of Somewhere", or "Face to Face."
We spent many happy hours practicing and singing together but it was several weeks or months before Pratt asked me to go anywhere else with him. I appreciated the casual friendship and was reluctant for it to develop any further. I could see his fine qualities -- his gentle nature and his keen sense of humor, yet in my false pride I wasn't ready to go out with someone a lot older and especially someone who had been married before.
Also the depression was still on. George (Ruth's brother) couldn't get work. Adelia (Ruth's sister) was finishing school but hope of a teaching job was very questionable. By spring I had decided I did want to get married and have a family, but our old family farm "Casto" was about to be sold for taxes. (See blog # 138 about Casto). A farm that Father on his dying bed had advised mother to "always keep in the family." It had really never paid for itself and LaVern and I had paid the taxes on it for years. LaVern was now married and I was the only one who was in a position to redeem it.
We went together for one year and were engaged in April 1933. He proposed like this: "Well, we've joked for some time about marriage, but I want a direct answer. Will you or will you not marry me?" But in the spring I borrowed money to pay taxes, and to do so had to sign my next year's school checks over to the bank. I had an understanding with Adelia that if she got a teaching position she'd take over and I'd get married. But it was late June by the time she got a contract. The Temple was closed for the summer, and I was in Tropic taking care of Marcia and her family at Dot's birth. So the wedding was put off. I figured for a year, as at that time merely getting married automatically released you from your contract, if you were female, and your job was given to a "bread winner."
By fall I guess the bank was worried, thinking that I might get married and fail to pay the debt. (In the then small town of St. George just about everyone knew, or thought they knew, everyone else's business.) At any rate my entire check was attached and sent to the bank each month. We had to pay rent ($15 a month) as best we could and go in debt for our groceries.
Finally, in November I went to Superintendent Moody (Milton Moody – superintendent from 1929 to 1958–his home was 272 South 100 East, the home just 2 doors south of our old home at 230 South 100 East, which Harold and Bonnie Durrant lived in.) -- and told him or my desire to be married during Christmas Holidays. His question was, "What will you do if I say ' no'?" To which I answered, "I'm under contract, I'd wait until spring." Then he said, "It would be hard to replace you in Santa Clara as you teach music to the entire school, and I figure music is so important in these discouraging times. If you will promise me to stay with teaching until school is out, you have my blessing." I promised and was happy to. We needed the money as George was still out of work. Adelia was teaching in Henrieville and in order for us all to survive, Pratt agreed to move in with us so I could still be responsible for rent and groceries. I'm sure he must have been quite concerned with this set up for it was the "mother-in-law" which caused his first marriage to fail.
My trousseau consisted of 4 items I had been able to buy during 6 years of teaching. The were: a piano, a radio, a sewing machine, and a washer.
As for a wardrobe, I went in debt for 3 dresses. One a white wedding dress, also a black velvet, and a red one with white beads on. Imagine having 2 new dresses to wear at the same time! An experience I'd never had before! I also went in debt for a hairdo and even a facial. (My first, last and only one I've ever had, but I did feel elegant for my wedding.)
We decided on a quiet wedding Christmas day. President Whitehead of the Temple was willing to go down to marry us, so I had my endowments on December 20, 1933, and we went down and were married at high noon Christmas day, 1933. Then we went to California for a short honeymoon. I can still feel the quiet feeling of that peaceful place and moment. No one was there but us, Brother Whitehead who performed the ceremony, and mother and a Brother Morris as Witnesses. (Now women are not used as witnesses.) A young couple, our friends, came just as we were married.
There was no wedding dinner -- no reception and no wedding ring. Pratt had given me a choice of a diamond or a honeymoon trip. (Several of my friends then did not have diamonds -- depression again.) I chose a honeymoon, and we honeymooned in California for 7 days. We went to California on a bus, and it rained every day we were there. Actually we were not alone much as Pratt's family, nieces and nephews turn turns having us to dinner, etc. It created a closeness that has lasted through the years. As soon as we got in California, Pratt went wedding ring shopping. I was delighted with his choice. It is one I'll wear till my dying day. Then it is to go to Mavis, for a keepsake. She, I think, was the one who pressured "Dad" years later to get a diamond to go with it. Anyway Pal got the family locket, and Vina is to have my "Mother's ring" which she chose and mostly paid for, I think. And you can quarrel over who gets my school bell and my school chain watch, my next valued treasures (except my grand-kids of course, and I know how you'll divide them up -- ha ha.)
One thing that might interest you girls about my first Temple recommend is -- I was busy so mother went around the corner to Bishop Arthur K. Hafen, explained the situation, paid my tithing and came back with my recommend, I assume with no questions asked. Then we didn't have to have the Stake President sign either. At least I don't recall it.
Soon after we were married I became pregnant and very miserable. Pratt was determined I'd quit school and "take it easy". Mother was determined I'd "hang in there." She assured me, "It won't last forever--you can take it." Mother won out, and by sheer determination I stuck it out carrying Pal with me to school for nearly 5 months. I've often wondered if she's inherited the sheer determination I had to muster to live through those months and if they are responsible for her highly nervous disposition. At any rate she's worth all she cost. She was born October 6, 1934, the greatest joy of my life up to that time. Of course twice after I experienced that extreme joy of seeing a darling baby girl that "I had brought into the world." At one time I asked my mother, "How long does this breath-taking thrill of being a mother last?" She answered, "I don't know, Ruth; you see I've only been a mother 45 years. I know it lasts longer than that." I've now been a mother 45 years myself -- The thrill hasn't diminished one bit.
True it's brought worries, trials and frustrations both with my own 3 daughters and my grand children, but it is, and will always remain to me, as life's greatest and life's most lasting thrill -- the thrill of motherhood. On this date, January 2, 1972, we have 3 children and 15 grandchildren, and 1 ½ great grandchildren.
We made our first home at 400 West just under the Black Hill in St. George, Utah. Some of our early married experiences were; planning and building our first 2 room home. (2 rooms and a path. Later we built on to have 4 rooms and a bath.)
And our singing -- we were always singing somewhere, either a duet or in a quartet. We were considered pretty good. Once just before Paralee was born we were asked to sing in a funeral. Wouldn't you know the song they asked for was "Come Unto Me You Who Are Heavy Laden."
Other homes we have lived in are: 165 South 400 West in St. George, Central, Gunlock, Mesquite, Salt Lake City, and then back to St. George, and our present location of 230 South 100 East. (That home was bought by Wayne and Pal, and Ruth lived with them, in the basement at first, and later upstairs. It was sold in 1996, 50 years from when Pratt and Ruth bought it. Wayne and Pal sold it and got a one level condominium mostly for Ruth to be more comfortable, but she was able to be with us there only 4 months until she needed constant care, and lived her last 2 years in Porter's Nursing Home.)
Raising a family:
Pal was only about 6 months old when Pratt went to the Veteran's Hospital in Salt Lake City. We had just moved into our own little 2 room house on 4th west under the Black Hill. Pratt had spent so much time in government hospitals after World War I that he detested the sight or thoughts of one. He wasn't in so long this time however. Home, and happy in our little house we looked forward to Mother coming for the winter. Our bed was in the kitchen -- hers in the front room. Crowded? No, not really. We didn't have anything but the bare essentials of furniture. When there's heart room there's house room, no matter how you have to crowd up. It was such a blessing to have Mother there. No son-in-law has ever been more thoughtful, kind, and considerate than Pratt was with my Mother. I loved him deeply for it.
Spring found us building 2 more rooms and a bath and expecting a new baby. I remember a friend said to me, "You'll get along all right. Just build one more room with each baby and you'll have it made." We never went in debt, even for a home. A lot of the work was done by men who worked "for barber work for me and my boys."
Again Pratt went to the hospital for part of the summer after Vina Ruth was born. It was at this time I sold the old car we had for $35 to have enough to get milk, etc., for the 2 babies. At this time milk was 5 cents a quart, eggs 2 dozen for 25 cents, butter 15 cents a pound, bread 5 cents a loaf, etc. and everything else in comparison.
I first met Pratt Miles, my husband, while I was in College at Dixie. We were in the same ward and worked together in M.I.A. He was chairman of the Young Men's Program for each M.I.A. night and I for Young Ladies. I was 19 years old, and he was 35 years old. We worked very closely together and became good friends; But -- I was in college with all its excitement and he, 16 years older than I was, a man about town -- a barber and divorcee, so we had nothing in common except our Church positions. Occasionally there was an M.I.A. party or dance we enjoyed together.
Our paths separated and I didn't see much of him for about 3 years. I was teaching in Enterprise and one evening he appeared on the scene. Just dropped by to say "Hello," as he was passing through.
I had a date that night, so the 3 of us visited and rode around together. They both seemed to be at ease, which is more than I can say for myself. Another year went by and I was in Santa Clara teaching, and he was leaving for a short term mission. I went to his farewell and enjoyed a dance or two with him. (Missionary farewells included a dance, and I always enjoyed dancing with Pratt, especially a waltz.) His short term mission which was to have been 6 months, lasted 16 months, I guess till his funds ran out. He was his own sole support, his mission being in Tennessee.
I remember the wonderful talk he gave and how clean cut, well groomed and handsome he looked that night when he returned. It was Stake Conference, and there was always a dance after Church on such occasions. I enjoyed dancing with him again, and when he said, "I supposed when I returned you'd be married," to which I jokingly said, "Oh no, I was waiting for you!." Actually at the time I was engaged, but things weren't going too smoothly.
It was not long until he came to our home and asked me to sing a duet with him, one he and a Sister Wright had sung many times in the mission field. When he left, mother said, "Now, that young man is not just looking for someone to sing with. If you are not interested in anything but singing with him, act accordingly, and do nothing to hurt him." Mother was pretty perceptive.
Well, we were soon singing duets, not only in St. George, but all southern Utah. Also we formed a mixed quartet with Mrs. Alice Cannon and Brother Will Whitehead. We were good, and in constant demand. I only have to close my eyes to hear Will's deep bass voice getting lower and lower in "Beautiful Isle of Somewhere", or "Face to Face."
We spent many happy hours practicing and singing together but it was several weeks or months before Pratt asked me to go anywhere else with him. I appreciated the casual friendship and was reluctant for it to develop any further. I could see his fine qualities -- his gentle nature and his keen sense of humor, yet in my false pride I wasn't ready to go out with someone a lot older and especially someone who had been married before.
Also the depression was still on. George (Ruth's brother) couldn't get work. Adelia (Ruth's sister) was finishing school but hope of a teaching job was very questionable. By spring I had decided I did want to get married and have a family, but our old family farm "Casto" was about to be sold for taxes. (See blog # 138 about Casto). A farm that Father on his dying bed had advised mother to "always keep in the family." It had really never paid for itself and LaVern and I had paid the taxes on it for years. LaVern was now married and I was the only one who was in a position to redeem it.
We went together for one year and were engaged in April 1933. He proposed like this: "Well, we've joked for some time about marriage, but I want a direct answer. Will you or will you not marry me?" But in the spring I borrowed money to pay taxes, and to do so had to sign my next year's school checks over to the bank. I had an understanding with Adelia that if she got a teaching position she'd take over and I'd get married. But it was late June by the time she got a contract. The Temple was closed for the summer, and I was in Tropic taking care of Marcia and her family at Dot's birth. So the wedding was put off. I figured for a year, as at that time merely getting married automatically released you from your contract, if you were female, and your job was given to a "bread winner."
By fall I guess the bank was worried, thinking that I might get married and fail to pay the debt. (In the then small town of St. George just about everyone knew, or thought they knew, everyone else's business.) At any rate my entire check was attached and sent to the bank each month. We had to pay rent ($15 a month) as best we could and go in debt for our groceries.
Finally, in November I went to Superintendent Moody (Milton Moody – superintendent from 1929 to 1958–his home was 272 South 100 East, the home just 2 doors south of our old home at 230 South 100 East, which Harold and Bonnie Durrant lived in.) -- and told him or my desire to be married during Christmas Holidays. His question was, "What will you do if I say ' no'?" To which I answered, "I'm under contract, I'd wait until spring." Then he said, "It would be hard to replace you in Santa Clara as you teach music to the entire school, and I figure music is so important in these discouraging times. If you will promise me to stay with teaching until school is out, you have my blessing." I promised and was happy to. We needed the money as George was still out of work. Adelia was teaching in Henrieville and in order for us all to survive, Pratt agreed to move in with us so I could still be responsible for rent and groceries. I'm sure he must have been quite concerned with this set up for it was the "mother-in-law" which caused his first marriage to fail.
My trousseau consisted of 4 items I had been able to buy during 6 years of teaching. The were: a piano, a radio, a sewing machine, and a washer.
We decided on a quiet wedding Christmas day. President Whitehead of the Temple was willing to go down to marry us, so I had my endowments on December 20, 1933, and we went down and were married at high noon Christmas day, 1933. Then we went to California for a short honeymoon. I can still feel the quiet feeling of that peaceful place and moment. No one was there but us, Brother Whitehead who performed the ceremony, and mother and a Brother Morris as Witnesses. (Now women are not used as witnesses.) A young couple, our friends, came just as we were married.
There was no wedding dinner -- no reception and no wedding ring. Pratt had given me a choice of a diamond or a honeymoon trip. (Several of my friends then did not have diamonds -- depression again.) I chose a honeymoon, and we honeymooned in California for 7 days. We went to California on a bus, and it rained every day we were there. Actually we were not alone much as Pratt's family, nieces and nephews turn turns having us to dinner, etc. It created a closeness that has lasted through the years. As soon as we got in California, Pratt went wedding ring shopping. I was delighted with his choice. It is one I'll wear till my dying day. Then it is to go to Mavis, for a keepsake. She, I think, was the one who pressured "Dad" years later to get a diamond to go with it. Anyway Pal got the family locket, and Vina is to have my "Mother's ring" which she chose and mostly paid for, I think. And you can quarrel over who gets my school bell and my school chain watch, my next valued treasures (except my grand-kids of course, and I know how you'll divide them up -- ha ha.)
One thing that might interest you girls about my first Temple recommend is -- I was busy so mother went around the corner to Bishop Arthur K. Hafen, explained the situation, paid my tithing and came back with my recommend, I assume with no questions asked. Then we didn't have to have the Stake President sign either. At least I don't recall it.
Soon after we were married I became pregnant and very miserable. Pratt was determined I'd quit school and "take it easy". Mother was determined I'd "hang in there." She assured me, "It won't last forever--you can take it." Mother won out, and by sheer determination I stuck it out carrying Pal with me to school for nearly 5 months. I've often wondered if she's inherited the sheer determination I had to muster to live through those months and if they are responsible for her highly nervous disposition. At any rate she's worth all she cost. She was born October 6, 1934, the greatest joy of my life up to that time. Of course twice after I experienced that extreme joy of seeing a darling baby girl that "I had brought into the world." At one time I asked my mother, "How long does this breath-taking thrill of being a mother last?" She answered, "I don't know, Ruth; you see I've only been a mother 45 years. I know it lasts longer than that." I've now been a mother 45 years myself -- The thrill hasn't diminished one bit.
True it's brought worries, trials and frustrations both with my own 3 daughters and my grand children, but it is, and will always remain to me, as life's greatest and life's most lasting thrill -- the thrill of motherhood. On this date, January 2, 1972, we have 3 children and 15 grandchildren, and 1 ½ great grandchildren.
We made our first home at 400 West just under the Black Hill in St. George, Utah. Some of our early married experiences were; planning and building our first 2 room home. (2 rooms and a path. Later we built on to have 4 rooms and a bath.)
And our singing -- we were always singing somewhere, either a duet or in a quartet. We were considered pretty good. Once just before Paralee was born we were asked to sing in a funeral. Wouldn't you know the song they asked for was "Come Unto Me You Who Are Heavy Laden."
Other homes we have lived in are: 165 South 400 West in St. George, Central, Gunlock, Mesquite, Salt Lake City, and then back to St. George, and our present location of 230 South 100 East. (That home was bought by Wayne and Pal, and Ruth lived with them, in the basement at first, and later upstairs. It was sold in 1996, 50 years from when Pratt and Ruth bought it. Wayne and Pal sold it and got a one level condominium mostly for Ruth to be more comfortable, but she was able to be with us there only 4 months until she needed constant care, and lived her last 2 years in Porter's Nursing Home.)
Raising a family:
Pal was only about 6 months old when Pratt went to the Veteran's Hospital in Salt Lake City. We had just moved into our own little 2 room house on 4th west under the Black Hill. Pratt had spent so much time in government hospitals after World War I that he detested the sight or thoughts of one. He wasn't in so long this time however. Home, and happy in our little house we looked forward to Mother coming for the winter. Our bed was in the kitchen -- hers in the front room. Crowded? No, not really. We didn't have anything but the bare essentials of furniture. When there's heart room there's house room, no matter how you have to crowd up. It was such a blessing to have Mother there. No son-in-law has ever been more thoughtful, kind, and considerate than Pratt was with my Mother. I loved him deeply for it.
Spring found us building 2 more rooms and a bath and expecting a new baby. I remember a friend said to me, "You'll get along all right. Just build one more room with each baby and you'll have it made." We never went in debt, even for a home. A lot of the work was done by men who worked "for barber work for me and my boys."
Again Pratt went to the hospital for part of the summer after Vina Ruth was born. It was at this time I sold the old car we had for $35 to have enough to get milk, etc., for the 2 babies. At this time milk was 5 cents a quart, eggs 2 dozen for 25 cents, butter 15 cents a pound, bread 5 cents a loaf, etc. and everything else in comparison.
Comments