147. Memories of Ruth, written by Mavis, Vina, and Pal on her 80th birthday, 26 years ago today!
We all wrote memories of our home life, which we gave to Mother on her 80th birthday. I couldn't find mine, so my entry below was written in 1911, when we wrote the book of their lives. This time, I won't underline certain parts -- It takes quite a bit of time which I don't have today.
MEMORIES OF MOTHER ON HER 80TH BIRTHDAY, BY MAVIS
I have many fond memories of you Mother, from my childhood years. Some of these are concepts I had about you. For example, I remember feeling overwhelmed about how hard you worked. I remember the long days, the Saturdays, filled with cleaning, ironing, baking, and I remember feeling that you worked so very, very hard – which you did. I was always so proud of you and the fact you were such a good woman. You sewed so many lovely dresses for each of us. I always felt lucky that I could usually have a new dress when I wanted one. Usually it was for a dance coming up – but I remember feeling that if I presented my case to you – you would be sympathetic in my cause, which was a feeling of good fortune I enjoyed. I especially remember a lavender sheer nylon dress, with a self belt that I loved. Also there were fun shopping sprees each fall, buying our new “school clothes” which was a time of excitement for us Miles Girls.
I remember also, feeling so very lucky that we got to do so many neat things with the family. I remember, in the winter, dreaming about the summer and the family vacations. Also, I remember the feelings of extreme excitement, the day or two before we would leave – if we had that much notice – which we usually did not because Dad would want to leave early.
I especially remember our family trip to San Francisco. You and Dad always took us to plays, either at the U in Salt Lake, and the treasured memory is of the Opera we saw at the famous Opera House in San Francisco. These types of experiences certainly helped me develop a love for the fine arts. To this day I feel part of the love I have for Opera stems from that first great experience we had in San Francisco.
Also you encouraged each of us in music and although I was too lazy to work hard, the love of music was deeply planted in my youth. I knew I could always get out of the dishes by deciding it was time to practice. How many times I have regretted the fact that I did not help you much with house hold chores as I was growing up. I do remember the period of time us girls took singing lessons from Mr. Johnson. I remember about that time you had purchased some very heavy “water-less” cookware through a “home party” – in fact I remember that party being held at our house. I suppose because that was an unusual type of event. Anyway I remember being at our singing lesson and looking forward to getting home to one of those special dinners made in the new cookware. I also remember us three girls singing trios on the way home. We would do that a lot when we were walking together.
One of my most treasured memories of you Mother, is when you finally stood up to Dad, who constantly refused to let you learn to drive, and you not only got your license, after 20 years of being told NO, but shocked Dad by buying your own car. That tickled me so much because I do remember you as being quite serious, spending your whole life “doing for others” -- and especially ended up paying for Dad’s new car every year – instead of getting the dreamed of Organ. It was fun and exciting to see you be independent and learn to drive and get a car. Shocked as he was, Dad himself got quite a kick about the whole matter, and was genuinely tickled about it – if the truth was known, if my memory serves me correctly.
I remember ABSOLUTELY KNOWING how deeply I was loved by you. I can honestly say that I do not have one memory EVER of not feeling loved. I KNEW I was your whole life, and that my welfare came above ALL ELSE. Never, NOT ONCE, did I ever feel feelings of insecurity because of you. How grateful, beyond expression, I am to have felt and still feel such deep, unfailing love, from such a dear, loyal, devoted Mother.
In considering the qualities I treasure most about you Mother. Although they are many, I guess the most priceless to me is that you ALWAYS, ALWAYS, have cared what was going on in my life, and because I knew you loved me so deeply you were and STILL ARE always there when I need you. You have been my undying source of security, emotionally, as well as physically. The financial help you have given has been so much appreciated. In addition to the money, which helped raise the boys, and help me keep my sanity at times that were so stressful, part of the comfort was just in knowing that I had someone – and it was always YOU. YOU were the one who was there to help raise my boys. You were the one to comfort me in much of the heartache I experienced. You were and are the one I can always call and feel the comfort of talking to the ONE PERSON who cares about me and the feelings and problems of my life. YOU HAVE TRULY BEEN THE GREATEST FRIEND, as well as the greatest Mother I could imagine.
Also, your example and faithfulness in the gospel, your unselfishness in putting others needs above your own, have been the greatest teacher of my life. Your life and the way you have lived it has been the great source of motivation to me when I get discouraged and D-motivated.
How do I describe the joy of our vacation together in Hawaii ! ! Remember the flight? The money we saved all the time we were there? The first few minutes on our balcony, eating triskets, cheese, and punch, looking at the gorgeous island, and watching the sun go down? Remember now tired we were the first night, and yet how anxious we were to get up in the morning? Remember going to Church, walking together at the beach in the sand, shopping together in the streets, saving the $990.00 on my ring? The glorious fish dinner we had outside the fabulous hotel and the two for one sale price on the dinner? Remember watching the sunset while we were eating that dinner? The cute man I met who was with his mother as well?
Remember the Pearl Harbor tour? The island tour? The pink hotel and the flowers there? “Round the island tour”? The gorgeous place, and the beautiful Hawaiian woman who was singing and playing the “uke”, and the fact she was a Relief Society sister? The crazy bus drivers? The temple and the Polynesian Center? The song our rental car sang to us? The beautiful places we visited, the 2nd island and the boat ride? The singing on the way? Laying out at the beach together and visiting? Remember planning your funeral while we were there together and the long precious talks and the indescribably joy of JUST BEING TOGETHER THERE? How grateful I am for that experience together. I saw a side to you there I will never forget – a more frivolous, fun part of both of us surfaced – but especially in you. I WILL NEVER FORGET THE JOY OF BEING THERE WITH YOU – IT WAS ONE OF THE MOST PRICELESS FEW DAYS OF MY LIFE. Remember the macadamia nut chocolates? Oh My, I cannot stop, the joy was so great. Remember the Christmas tree?
You mean more to me now – at this time in my life than ever before. I’m sure it’s because I have a greater capacity to appreciate and love you. I am so grateful for your faithful love through many of the difficult stages of my life – especially the times I least deserved your devotion. You never remind me of my negative traits – and have been so quick to forgive my faults.
My feelings are so tender and my heart so full at this particular moment I can hardly contain my feelings of love and gratitude for you. The most comfort, the most love, the greatest teaching, the greatest fun, the deepest most meaningful moments in my life have been because of you and shared with you. Loving my children has even been enlarged because of you as you have shared in that joy, and I knew you loved them as much as I do – as you do all of your posterity.
I guess I’m finally ready to forgive you and Melba Baker for singing the obligato to “America the Beautiful” in Sacrament meeting, and also hitting the high note when we sang "Carry On" in Church. The humiliation has left and the scarring has healed. We can now forget all about that.
Mother, I must express appreciation, for instilling within me a love for my Heavenly Father and faith in His Gospel. I could say so much about this that could take a lot of time, and still have difficulty expressing all my feelings. As I grow older, nothing else much matters, except family of course. The hope I feel because of the teachings you planted in my heart is the most priceless gift you have given me. So many ways you have done this – but mostly by being the GREAT EXAMPLE you have been. I am truly seeing that the material things in this life are of value only in the sense that we can serve one another, with them. I am so anxious to re-arrange my assets and start planning, or arranging the mission funds, that are so important to do at this time. This is a knowledge you have always had. The sacrifices you made to pay for three missions – Five years in Panguitch – (and I know that was not the only reason you served in Panguitch) are the supreme example in your willingness to serve your family. Thank you, Thank you for your help in behalf of my sons.
The memories are really endless, but my heart can’t take much more of this because I’m tired of crying right now, and having my insides so torn up remembering how much I love you.
I pray this day is special for you and that you are blessed with many more days with us – and that you are spared health problems that many experience. I am so grateful for the level of health you have had, your cheerful spirit, your intelligent mind, your GREAT STRENGTH. You are such a great source of comfort, companionship, and just plain fun to be with and I am so grateful the Lord has allowed you to be with us. He knows how much I need you at this time in my life.
The blessing of having you for my mother is one of the two greatest of my life – the other being the gift of my sons. The heritage and legacies you have left us will never, never fade. I love you dear, precious Mother. Happy 80th birthday and Happy Mother’s Day.
Written by Mavis Joy Miles Wright in May, 1988.
MEMORIES OF MOTHER, BY VINA RUTH, FOR RUTH’S 80TH BIRTHDAY, May 1988
As our dear mother, Ruth Allen Miles, had her 80th birthday, we all gathered here at our home in La Verkin. Pal, Mavis, and I all had a good part of our children and grandchildren here (Brad and Greg couldn’t make it) but Kurt and Kristen, Grandma and Grandpa Bringhurst, Aunt Adelia and Uncle Ern, Cleo and Con Henry from Panguitch, (her brother Earl’s daughter and husband) and many of Mavis and Pal’s family. We had a great time and each wrote a tribute to Mother. Following is what I wrote to her.
To my dear Momma,
Happy 80th Birthday! How can one do justice to the memory of a Mother, especially a mother such as mine. The thing about you as my Mother and the years we have shared – there seems to be no beginning and no end to our love and the tremendous admiration and respect I have for you. It’s always made me feel special to have been born so close to your birthday and to have been named after you and your dear mother – my Grandma Allen. I have always felt it was a special privilege to share both of your names – Oh, and we can’t forget my name “Lovie” which always made me feel warm and loved when you called me that.
A few of my earliest recollections – some of the first were when we lived over by the black hill – I can vaguely remember sliding down the shingles up in the attic when we played with our friends. I have fond memories of us girls and you (and Colleen) sitting around the kitchen table in the summer putting up fruit and you always made it less work by your cheerful positive nature. Colleen helped because I couldn’t play until the fruit was done.
I remember Grandma Allen living in the trailer in back of our home. I always loved hearing the stories you told about her thinking I was a lot like her and also I remember our early trips out to Panguitch to the big red brick house to see Grandma. I can still feel the excitement of the cold Panguitch air and the smell of the pine trees out around there. I can still see Grandmother Allen sitting at her table and cracking a soft boiled egg that sat in her little egg holder. I would give a lot to have been able to save one of those as a momento of her.
It was fun to have you as a teacher in the 3rd grade and Colleen and I having to call you Mrs. Miles – but as soon as the bell rang you were Mom and Aunt Ruth. We three girls always felt so thoroughly loved and enjoyed by you and Dad. As I think of our growing up years – we never had much in the way of material things but I honestly never felt that way. It seemed like we never wanted for one thing and truthfully we didn’t. I loved so much the evenings that we all had our “family nights” long before the Church suggested that it be done. It was always a part of our growing up years. You and Dad never tired of hearing us sing our trios – even when you had to get cross because we giggled all the time.
I remember our family vacations each summer. It was so exciting to get the bed built up in the back of Dad’s big “Nash” so we could lie down and ride. (There were no seat belts in those days.) Also the family always harmonizing on “Show Me The Way to go Home”. The great memories of us as a family in Church singing the song that embarrassed me so much. “If I have Wounded Any Soul Today” – the line I misunderstood and hated to sing was “When Thou has given me some fort to hold” – always mortified me until I understood what it meant!
Oh yes, and when Colleen and I and the Mutual girls or us three sisters would sing. You always had a tense look on your face in the audience that told us you were afraid we would start to giggle – and that in itself hit the funny bone. As time went on, I can remember you were never too tired for me to come in and sit at the edge of your bed after a date or some other activity and you would always be willing to listen to me no matter how tired you were. Or the times when I was out too late and you would be sitting on the porch in your night robe with your arms folded. Scared my friends a time or two – but even then I knew it was because I was loved and you were concerned. I know just knowing how important I was to you kept me from doing a lot of things that my friends did at times. I didn’t want to hurt you.
As the years have gone by, your steadfastness and loyalty and love to your family has never wavered. At the times in my life when stern disapproval was certainly due – you have never judged me, but listened and loved – that in itself has made me strive to be a better person. At the times in my life when I have been very ill, I have the memory of opening my eyes in the hospital or wherever and there you have always been – in the chair by my bedside, quietly reading or writing, waiting for me to awaken. Oh, Mom, what a strength and comfort to me you have always been. Always just a telephone call away and I knew the person on the other end would listen, love, and comfort – and your phrase, “This too will pass” never ceased to make me believe it would be so.
And of course – not all our memories are of the hard times. You have always been there to laugh and share the joyous times with us. At the birth of our wonderful sons, you were always there to take over for a week until we could do it ourselves. Your love for our children has always been a thrill – and now also for our grandchildren. It makes it all much more exciting when we can see you have been as thrilled with our sons as we have been and always as concerned as well. You have never failed to “come through” for them as well as for us and they all know they can always count on plenty of love from “ Grandma Miles” and whatever else you have. What a legacy of selflessness you have left for all your posterity. There has been love for everyone, with no thought of yourself and your own comforts. All your thoughts and actions have always been directed to your family and, or course, many outside your family – anyone in need. Always hardworking – and we can’t forget “stubborn”. I have always said a person needs to be stubborn to survive. I have plenty of that quality – but hopefully I will be able to become more like you in all ways. I will continue to work on it.
I’m so grateful to have been blessed with two wonderful sisters. I have so many wonderful memories with them. As I see you and your sisters and the comfort you bring to each other – it is such a blessing to have our family. I love you Mom more than life and wish to thank you from the bottom of my heart at this time for your years of sacrifice and good example. Thank you for instilling in me a love for the Savior and for my spiritual base. No matter where I have been in my development during this life, I have always had my faith and knowledge of the Savior and righteous desires – and I know it has been your unfailing dedication to your daughters and your strength to always be our good example, that have helped stabilize us. I want you to know that I love the Lord, and am so thankful for His Plan of Salvation and that He blessed me with a mother that is one of His most precious devoted daughters, who taught me right from wrong. I will continue to strive to be a daughter that you’ll be proud of.
I love you “infinity” as my children always used to say.
Your “Lovie”,
Vina Ruth
MEMORIES OF OUR HOME LIFE, by Pal.
(I can’t find what I wrote at Mother’s 80th birthday, so this is written in April, 2011.
I guess we all wrote to Mother on her 80th birthday, but I somehow don’t have a copy of mine. I do remember having a wonderful time at Vina’s home in La Verkin. I believe all of our children came, including Julie, our son Wayne's wife.
One story that happened when I was about five years old, was a story Mother told me many times. It was about Christmas that year, and Dad hadn’t been able to work, and we didn’t have much. Mother (Ruth) was Primary President at the time. I (Pal) had been praying for a “doll with curly hair”. My folks couldn’t afford one of those, so Christmas morning I received a small doll with molded hair. They lived in the home near the black hill, and only heated the rooms they used, so the front room wasn’t heated or entered on Christmas morning. One of the ladies from the Primary came during Christmas morning, and wanted to see how Christmas was for our family. She then asked Mother “Did you look in your front room?” and Mother had to say no she hadn’t, for they only heated the large kitchen.
In the front room was a box with Christmas toys which the Primary had put together for our family, and on the top was a “doll with curly hair.” I couldn’t ever hear Mother tell that story without shedding a tear or two, though I don’t personally remember it. My memory of the past is fragmented, so I’ll tell just a few things. (I wrote about this in detail in entry # 21, written Dec. 1, 2013, called "A Child's Christmas Prayer")
I remember that Dad and Mom took us often to see elderly people. Dad was one to seek out people who were lonely or in need, and especially those home-bound. When he died, we had many people come through the line telling of nice things he had done for someone in their family, which Mom or us knew nothing of. I remember hearing of a man who had twin sons going on missions, and Dad sent a sizeable amount of money in an envelope without the address of who sent it. The man asked all over town until he found someone who recognized Dad’s handwriting, and came to thank Dad for it. Dad was rather upset he had found out. He loved to “not let the left hand know what the right hand was doing”, especially in regards to giving. In his life story in this book are told some stories which show his kindness. He often took home-bound people out for a ride to “see the sights”.
I remember Dad letting us comb his beautiful silver/white hair. He never did lose any of his hair, and he had a beautiful head of hair when he passed away. He always wore a tie, every day, and a hat most of the time, including in the house. He was a gentleman from the old school, certainly. He was a wonderful dancer, and I remember dancing with him in the old large dance hall which was in the middle of the block where the Tabernacle is, and how graceful he danced, and how easy it was to dance with him. Fred Astaire, the movie star dancer has often reminded me of Dad, and how he danced.
Mother was one who was so easy to confide in, as a teenager. I could tell her whatever was happening on dates, (or lack of them), and she always understood. I remember telling her of one guy I went on a date with, and how he tried to be quite forward with me. She told me of a similar situation she had as a young lady. It seemed whatever we told her, she remembered a similar situation she had in her youth, and we felt she never was critical of us, but understood. I remember several friends of us girls who came to Mother to talk, who didn’t feel comfortable talking with their own mothers. I remember one in particular who told Mother things about her dates, and she felt her mother (then the wife of the Temple President) would be shocked, but she wasn’t doing anything bad. Mother was just known as one who was so understanding. She always asked us how the other person would feel, when we told her of some situation we had with someone in which either ours or someone else’s feelings were hurt. She taught us to try and understand how others felt.
I remember after our trip to Los Angeles when I was about 15, we had bought a rather large cabinet called a “Victrola” with a record player in it, and many beautiful classical records came with it. Our folks bought it from a family.
We loved to turn those on while we did our jobs on Saturday mornings. During the week we probably didn’t do much cleaning in our rooms, and on Saturday we cleaned the whole house. I do remember often Mother would tell me to go ahead and practice the piano, and she would “do the dishes”, etc., and when I was married I didn’t know how to do a lot of things to keep up a home! I struggled for many years trying to learn how to manage a home, and keep up with routine cleaning jobs. I had children rather fast. Allen, our 4th was born before our oldest, Wayne M., turned five. Mother always managed to come up and help when babies were born, but if they were born during a school year, her helping days were confined to week ends. I remember she always did the truly practical work, such as helping me catch up on clothes washing and folding, dishes, etc.
Often I would ask her advice as I was raising children, about a problem some child was having, or some other problems related to raising a family. I remember she always said “Pal, you are doing just fine. I didn’t have as many children as you have, and I haven’t had the same experience as you,” – or something like that. I knew very well I wasn’t very organized, etc., but she always, always built me up, and complimented me. It always gave me the lift I needed, even though I felt it wasn’t deserved.
I remember, as we lived in Sandy during the years my Dad was alive, that we could only come down two or so times in a year. The folks did come up and visit when they could. But Dad said one of his biggest regrets was that he couldn’t have more of a close relationship with his grandchildren. When he grew up, his grandparents were close, and he spent summers helping on their farms, etc., and loved them.
Dad loved new cars, and for a few years he would trade the one we had in, and get the newest one, and it quite frustrated Mother. I guess all couples have their differences, and that was one of theirs. But our home was very peaceful, and I don’t remember arguing much, or unkind feelings or words.
I remember several times when I asked Dad to give me a blessing – sometimes when I was ill, and other times during very stressful times as a teenager. He had such a strong testimony of the Gospel, and he used his Priesthood in such a faithful way, and I had tremendous faith in blessings he would give. I still have the same faith in Priesthood blessings, and I’m sure it was because of his example.
Dad, in doing his barber work, gave free haircuts to anyone who had a family member on a mission, to the Temple workers, and to the Indians. As a result, he didn’t earn as much money as he could have. He had a wonderful old carved barber chair, which he would place a board over the two arms for small children to sit on. When he decided he wasn’t going to do any more barbering, he sold that old chair to someone starting being a barber – for $15. When we found out it was gone, we tried to track it down, but couldn’t. It would be such an antique now! (One interesting sidelight – In our home at 230 South 100 East the bathroom was just through the wall from his barber room, and their was an open air vent on the wall between them. We had to be careful of any noise in the bathroom! – And often turned on the water, to cover sounds, or talking!)
Dad's barber chair was similar to this above, but it was more ornate.
I have many of the same memories that Vina and Mavis have, about our family life. I remember when we first started singing. We three girls would sing a melody, and Mom and Dad each took another part, to make a trio. We sang in Church several times. Then gradually, when Mavis was about 5 or 6, we begin to sing the same songs in trios. This proved to be such a wonderful time for us, singing trios for many years. The most memorable time was when we were allowed (as teen-agers) to go into the Temple, up an old wooden staircase into the balcony. From one of the lower balconies in the Temple spire, accapella (which we usually did) we sang "An Angel From On High" early on Easter Sunday, in a special meeting held below on the Temple grounds. Mother and Dad sang in many funerals, and other meetings throughout the years. I truly wish we had a recording of them singing. Joe “Mac”, (Joseph McAllister–the Dixie College vocal teacher) said that Dad had the “best untrained tenor” voice he had ever heard. He came from a very musical family, with his dad and brothers who all sang.
We truly were born of goodly parents, who taught us the Gospel, and were wonderful examples. My greatest desire is to live in a way that brings them joy, and honor to the wonderful heritage I have. I could write much more, but I believe most of the stories are elsewhere in this book, or other books we have made, (referring to the book about Pal's ancestors.)
MEMORIES OF MOTHER ON HER 80TH BIRTHDAY, BY MAVIS
I have many fond memories of you Mother, from my childhood years. Some of these are concepts I had about you. For example, I remember feeling overwhelmed about how hard you worked. I remember the long days, the Saturdays, filled with cleaning, ironing, baking, and I remember feeling that you worked so very, very hard – which you did. I was always so proud of you and the fact you were such a good woman. You sewed so many lovely dresses for each of us. I always felt lucky that I could usually have a new dress when I wanted one. Usually it was for a dance coming up – but I remember feeling that if I presented my case to you – you would be sympathetic in my cause, which was a feeling of good fortune I enjoyed. I especially remember a lavender sheer nylon dress, with a self belt that I loved. Also there were fun shopping sprees each fall, buying our new “school clothes” which was a time of excitement for us Miles Girls.
I remember also, feeling so very lucky that we got to do so many neat things with the family. I remember, in the winter, dreaming about the summer and the family vacations. Also, I remember the feelings of extreme excitement, the day or two before we would leave – if we had that much notice – which we usually did not because Dad would want to leave early.
I especially remember our family trip to San Francisco. You and Dad always took us to plays, either at the U in Salt Lake, and the treasured memory is of the Opera we saw at the famous Opera House in San Francisco. These types of experiences certainly helped me develop a love for the fine arts. To this day I feel part of the love I have for Opera stems from that first great experience we had in San Francisco.
Also you encouraged each of us in music and although I was too lazy to work hard, the love of music was deeply planted in my youth. I knew I could always get out of the dishes by deciding it was time to practice. How many times I have regretted the fact that I did not help you much with house hold chores as I was growing up. I do remember the period of time us girls took singing lessons from Mr. Johnson. I remember about that time you had purchased some very heavy “water-less” cookware through a “home party” – in fact I remember that party being held at our house. I suppose because that was an unusual type of event. Anyway I remember being at our singing lesson and looking forward to getting home to one of those special dinners made in the new cookware. I also remember us three girls singing trios on the way home. We would do that a lot when we were walking together.
One of my most treasured memories of you Mother, is when you finally stood up to Dad, who constantly refused to let you learn to drive, and you not only got your license, after 20 years of being told NO, but shocked Dad by buying your own car. That tickled me so much because I do remember you as being quite serious, spending your whole life “doing for others” -- and especially ended up paying for Dad’s new car every year – instead of getting the dreamed of Organ. It was fun and exciting to see you be independent and learn to drive and get a car. Shocked as he was, Dad himself got quite a kick about the whole matter, and was genuinely tickled about it – if the truth was known, if my memory serves me correctly.
I remember ABSOLUTELY KNOWING how deeply I was loved by you. I can honestly say that I do not have one memory EVER of not feeling loved. I KNEW I was your whole life, and that my welfare came above ALL ELSE. Never, NOT ONCE, did I ever feel feelings of insecurity because of you. How grateful, beyond expression, I am to have felt and still feel such deep, unfailing love, from such a dear, loyal, devoted Mother.
In considering the qualities I treasure most about you Mother. Although they are many, I guess the most priceless to me is that you ALWAYS, ALWAYS, have cared what was going on in my life, and because I knew you loved me so deeply you were and STILL ARE always there when I need you. You have been my undying source of security, emotionally, as well as physically. The financial help you have given has been so much appreciated. In addition to the money, which helped raise the boys, and help me keep my sanity at times that were so stressful, part of the comfort was just in knowing that I had someone – and it was always YOU. YOU were the one who was there to help raise my boys. You were the one to comfort me in much of the heartache I experienced. You were and are the one I can always call and feel the comfort of talking to the ONE PERSON who cares about me and the feelings and problems of my life. YOU HAVE TRULY BEEN THE GREATEST FRIEND, as well as the greatest Mother I could imagine.
Also, your example and faithfulness in the gospel, your unselfishness in putting others needs above your own, have been the greatest teacher of my life. Your life and the way you have lived it has been the great source of motivation to me when I get discouraged and D-motivated.
How do I describe the joy of our vacation together in Hawaii ! ! Remember the flight? The money we saved all the time we were there? The first few minutes on our balcony, eating triskets, cheese, and punch, looking at the gorgeous island, and watching the sun go down? Remember now tired we were the first night, and yet how anxious we were to get up in the morning? Remember going to Church, walking together at the beach in the sand, shopping together in the streets, saving the $990.00 on my ring? The glorious fish dinner we had outside the fabulous hotel and the two for one sale price on the dinner? Remember watching the sunset while we were eating that dinner? The cute man I met who was with his mother as well?
Remember the Pearl Harbor tour? The island tour? The pink hotel and the flowers there? “Round the island tour”? The gorgeous place, and the beautiful Hawaiian woman who was singing and playing the “uke”, and the fact she was a Relief Society sister? The crazy bus drivers? The temple and the Polynesian Center? The song our rental car sang to us? The beautiful places we visited, the 2nd island and the boat ride? The singing on the way? Laying out at the beach together and visiting? Remember planning your funeral while we were there together and the long precious talks and the indescribably joy of JUST BEING TOGETHER THERE? How grateful I am for that experience together. I saw a side to you there I will never forget – a more frivolous, fun part of both of us surfaced – but especially in you. I WILL NEVER FORGET THE JOY OF BEING THERE WITH YOU – IT WAS ONE OF THE MOST PRICELESS FEW DAYS OF MY LIFE. Remember the macadamia nut chocolates? Oh My, I cannot stop, the joy was so great. Remember the Christmas tree?
You mean more to me now – at this time in my life than ever before. I’m sure it’s because I have a greater capacity to appreciate and love you. I am so grateful for your faithful love through many of the difficult stages of my life – especially the times I least deserved your devotion. You never remind me of my negative traits – and have been so quick to forgive my faults.
My feelings are so tender and my heart so full at this particular moment I can hardly contain my feelings of love and gratitude for you. The most comfort, the most love, the greatest teaching, the greatest fun, the deepest most meaningful moments in my life have been because of you and shared with you. Loving my children has even been enlarged because of you as you have shared in that joy, and I knew you loved them as much as I do – as you do all of your posterity.
I guess I’m finally ready to forgive you and Melba Baker for singing the obligato to “America the Beautiful” in Sacrament meeting, and also hitting the high note when we sang "Carry On" in Church. The humiliation has left and the scarring has healed. We can now forget all about that.
Mother, I must express appreciation, for instilling within me a love for my Heavenly Father and faith in His Gospel. I could say so much about this that could take a lot of time, and still have difficulty expressing all my feelings. As I grow older, nothing else much matters, except family of course. The hope I feel because of the teachings you planted in my heart is the most priceless gift you have given me. So many ways you have done this – but mostly by being the GREAT EXAMPLE you have been. I am truly seeing that the material things in this life are of value only in the sense that we can serve one another, with them. I am so anxious to re-arrange my assets and start planning, or arranging the mission funds, that are so important to do at this time. This is a knowledge you have always had. The sacrifices you made to pay for three missions – Five years in Panguitch – (and I know that was not the only reason you served in Panguitch) are the supreme example in your willingness to serve your family. Thank you, Thank you for your help in behalf of my sons.
The memories are really endless, but my heart can’t take much more of this because I’m tired of crying right now, and having my insides so torn up remembering how much I love you.
I pray this day is special for you and that you are blessed with many more days with us – and that you are spared health problems that many experience. I am so grateful for the level of health you have had, your cheerful spirit, your intelligent mind, your GREAT STRENGTH. You are such a great source of comfort, companionship, and just plain fun to be with and I am so grateful the Lord has allowed you to be with us. He knows how much I need you at this time in my life.
The blessing of having you for my mother is one of the two greatest of my life – the other being the gift of my sons. The heritage and legacies you have left us will never, never fade. I love you dear, precious Mother. Happy 80th birthday and Happy Mother’s Day.
Written by Mavis Joy Miles Wright in May, 1988.
MEMORIES OF MOTHER, BY VINA RUTH, FOR RUTH’S 80TH BIRTHDAY, May 1988
As our dear mother, Ruth Allen Miles, had her 80th birthday, we all gathered here at our home in La Verkin. Pal, Mavis, and I all had a good part of our children and grandchildren here (Brad and Greg couldn’t make it) but Kurt and Kristen, Grandma and Grandpa Bringhurst, Aunt Adelia and Uncle Ern, Cleo and Con Henry from Panguitch, (her brother Earl’s daughter and husband) and many of Mavis and Pal’s family. We had a great time and each wrote a tribute to Mother. Following is what I wrote to her.
To my dear Momma,
Happy 80th Birthday! How can one do justice to the memory of a Mother, especially a mother such as mine. The thing about you as my Mother and the years we have shared – there seems to be no beginning and no end to our love and the tremendous admiration and respect I have for you. It’s always made me feel special to have been born so close to your birthday and to have been named after you and your dear mother – my Grandma Allen. I have always felt it was a special privilege to share both of your names – Oh, and we can’t forget my name “Lovie” which always made me feel warm and loved when you called me that.
A few of my earliest recollections – some of the first were when we lived over by the black hill – I can vaguely remember sliding down the shingles up in the attic when we played with our friends. I have fond memories of us girls and you (and Colleen) sitting around the kitchen table in the summer putting up fruit and you always made it less work by your cheerful positive nature. Colleen helped because I couldn’t play until the fruit was done.
I remember Grandma Allen living in the trailer in back of our home. I always loved hearing the stories you told about her thinking I was a lot like her and also I remember our early trips out to Panguitch to the big red brick house to see Grandma. I can still feel the excitement of the cold Panguitch air and the smell of the pine trees out around there. I can still see Grandmother Allen sitting at her table and cracking a soft boiled egg that sat in her little egg holder. I would give a lot to have been able to save one of those as a momento of her.
It was fun to have you as a teacher in the 3rd grade and Colleen and I having to call you Mrs. Miles – but as soon as the bell rang you were Mom and Aunt Ruth. We three girls always felt so thoroughly loved and enjoyed by you and Dad. As I think of our growing up years – we never had much in the way of material things but I honestly never felt that way. It seemed like we never wanted for one thing and truthfully we didn’t. I loved so much the evenings that we all had our “family nights” long before the Church suggested that it be done. It was always a part of our growing up years. You and Dad never tired of hearing us sing our trios – even when you had to get cross because we giggled all the time.
I remember our family vacations each summer. It was so exciting to get the bed built up in the back of Dad’s big “Nash” so we could lie down and ride. (There were no seat belts in those days.) Also the family always harmonizing on “Show Me The Way to go Home”. The great memories of us as a family in Church singing the song that embarrassed me so much. “If I have Wounded Any Soul Today” – the line I misunderstood and hated to sing was “When Thou has given me some fort to hold” – always mortified me until I understood what it meant!
Oh yes, and when Colleen and I and the Mutual girls or us three sisters would sing. You always had a tense look on your face in the audience that told us you were afraid we would start to giggle – and that in itself hit the funny bone. As time went on, I can remember you were never too tired for me to come in and sit at the edge of your bed after a date or some other activity and you would always be willing to listen to me no matter how tired you were. Or the times when I was out too late and you would be sitting on the porch in your night robe with your arms folded. Scared my friends a time or two – but even then I knew it was because I was loved and you were concerned. I know just knowing how important I was to you kept me from doing a lot of things that my friends did at times. I didn’t want to hurt you.
As the years have gone by, your steadfastness and loyalty and love to your family has never wavered. At the times in my life when stern disapproval was certainly due – you have never judged me, but listened and loved – that in itself has made me strive to be a better person. At the times in my life when I have been very ill, I have the memory of opening my eyes in the hospital or wherever and there you have always been – in the chair by my bedside, quietly reading or writing, waiting for me to awaken. Oh, Mom, what a strength and comfort to me you have always been. Always just a telephone call away and I knew the person on the other end would listen, love, and comfort – and your phrase, “This too will pass” never ceased to make me believe it would be so.
And of course – not all our memories are of the hard times. You have always been there to laugh and share the joyous times with us. At the birth of our wonderful sons, you were always there to take over for a week until we could do it ourselves. Your love for our children has always been a thrill – and now also for our grandchildren. It makes it all much more exciting when we can see you have been as thrilled with our sons as we have been and always as concerned as well. You have never failed to “come through” for them as well as for us and they all know they can always count on plenty of love from “ Grandma Miles” and whatever else you have. What a legacy of selflessness you have left for all your posterity. There has been love for everyone, with no thought of yourself and your own comforts. All your thoughts and actions have always been directed to your family and, or course, many outside your family – anyone in need. Always hardworking – and we can’t forget “stubborn”. I have always said a person needs to be stubborn to survive. I have plenty of that quality – but hopefully I will be able to become more like you in all ways. I will continue to work on it.
I’m so grateful to have been blessed with two wonderful sisters. I have so many wonderful memories with them. As I see you and your sisters and the comfort you bring to each other – it is such a blessing to have our family. I love you Mom more than life and wish to thank you from the bottom of my heart at this time for your years of sacrifice and good example. Thank you for instilling in me a love for the Savior and for my spiritual base. No matter where I have been in my development during this life, I have always had my faith and knowledge of the Savior and righteous desires – and I know it has been your unfailing dedication to your daughters and your strength to always be our good example, that have helped stabilize us. I want you to know that I love the Lord, and am so thankful for His Plan of Salvation and that He blessed me with a mother that is one of His most precious devoted daughters, who taught me right from wrong. I will continue to strive to be a daughter that you’ll be proud of.
I love you “infinity” as my children always used to say.
Your “Lovie”,
Vina Ruth
MEMORIES OF OUR HOME LIFE, by Pal.
(I can’t find what I wrote at Mother’s 80th birthday, so this is written in April, 2011.
I guess we all wrote to Mother on her 80th birthday, but I somehow don’t have a copy of mine. I do remember having a wonderful time at Vina’s home in La Verkin. I believe all of our children came, including Julie, our son Wayne's wife.
One story that happened when I was about five years old, was a story Mother told me many times. It was about Christmas that year, and Dad hadn’t been able to work, and we didn’t have much. Mother (Ruth) was Primary President at the time. I (Pal) had been praying for a “doll with curly hair”. My folks couldn’t afford one of those, so Christmas morning I received a small doll with molded hair. They lived in the home near the black hill, and only heated the rooms they used, so the front room wasn’t heated or entered on Christmas morning. One of the ladies from the Primary came during Christmas morning, and wanted to see how Christmas was for our family. She then asked Mother “Did you look in your front room?” and Mother had to say no she hadn’t, for they only heated the large kitchen.
In the front room was a box with Christmas toys which the Primary had put together for our family, and on the top was a “doll with curly hair.” I couldn’t ever hear Mother tell that story without shedding a tear or two, though I don’t personally remember it. My memory of the past is fragmented, so I’ll tell just a few things. (I wrote about this in detail in entry # 21, written Dec. 1, 2013, called "A Child's Christmas Prayer")
I remember that Dad and Mom took us often to see elderly people. Dad was one to seek out people who were lonely or in need, and especially those home-bound. When he died, we had many people come through the line telling of nice things he had done for someone in their family, which Mom or us knew nothing of. I remember hearing of a man who had twin sons going on missions, and Dad sent a sizeable amount of money in an envelope without the address of who sent it. The man asked all over town until he found someone who recognized Dad’s handwriting, and came to thank Dad for it. Dad was rather upset he had found out. He loved to “not let the left hand know what the right hand was doing”, especially in regards to giving. In his life story in this book are told some stories which show his kindness. He often took home-bound people out for a ride to “see the sights”.
I remember Dad letting us comb his beautiful silver/white hair. He never did lose any of his hair, and he had a beautiful head of hair when he passed away. He always wore a tie, every day, and a hat most of the time, including in the house. He was a gentleman from the old school, certainly. He was a wonderful dancer, and I remember dancing with him in the old large dance hall which was in the middle of the block where the Tabernacle is, and how graceful he danced, and how easy it was to dance with him. Fred Astaire, the movie star dancer has often reminded me of Dad, and how he danced.
Mother was one who was so easy to confide in, as a teenager. I could tell her whatever was happening on dates, (or lack of them), and she always understood. I remember telling her of one guy I went on a date with, and how he tried to be quite forward with me. She told me of a similar situation she had as a young lady. It seemed whatever we told her, she remembered a similar situation she had in her youth, and we felt she never was critical of us, but understood. I remember several friends of us girls who came to Mother to talk, who didn’t feel comfortable talking with their own mothers. I remember one in particular who told Mother things about her dates, and she felt her mother (then the wife of the Temple President) would be shocked, but she wasn’t doing anything bad. Mother was just known as one who was so understanding. She always asked us how the other person would feel, when we told her of some situation we had with someone in which either ours or someone else’s feelings were hurt. She taught us to try and understand how others felt.
I remember after our trip to Los Angeles when I was about 15, we had bought a rather large cabinet called a “Victrola” with a record player in it, and many beautiful classical records came with it. Our folks bought it from a family.
We loved to turn those on while we did our jobs on Saturday mornings. During the week we probably didn’t do much cleaning in our rooms, and on Saturday we cleaned the whole house. I do remember often Mother would tell me to go ahead and practice the piano, and she would “do the dishes”, etc., and when I was married I didn’t know how to do a lot of things to keep up a home! I struggled for many years trying to learn how to manage a home, and keep up with routine cleaning jobs. I had children rather fast. Allen, our 4th was born before our oldest, Wayne M., turned five. Mother always managed to come up and help when babies were born, but if they were born during a school year, her helping days were confined to week ends. I remember she always did the truly practical work, such as helping me catch up on clothes washing and folding, dishes, etc.
Often I would ask her advice as I was raising children, about a problem some child was having, or some other problems related to raising a family. I remember she always said “Pal, you are doing just fine. I didn’t have as many children as you have, and I haven’t had the same experience as you,” – or something like that. I knew very well I wasn’t very organized, etc., but she always, always built me up, and complimented me. It always gave me the lift I needed, even though I felt it wasn’t deserved.
I remember, as we lived in Sandy during the years my Dad was alive, that we could only come down two or so times in a year. The folks did come up and visit when they could. But Dad said one of his biggest regrets was that he couldn’t have more of a close relationship with his grandchildren. When he grew up, his grandparents were close, and he spent summers helping on their farms, etc., and loved them.
Dad loved new cars, and for a few years he would trade the one we had in, and get the newest one, and it quite frustrated Mother. I guess all couples have their differences, and that was one of theirs. But our home was very peaceful, and I don’t remember arguing much, or unkind feelings or words.
I remember several times when I asked Dad to give me a blessing – sometimes when I was ill, and other times during very stressful times as a teenager. He had such a strong testimony of the Gospel, and he used his Priesthood in such a faithful way, and I had tremendous faith in blessings he would give. I still have the same faith in Priesthood blessings, and I’m sure it was because of his example.
Dad, in doing his barber work, gave free haircuts to anyone who had a family member on a mission, to the Temple workers, and to the Indians. As a result, he didn’t earn as much money as he could have. He had a wonderful old carved barber chair, which he would place a board over the two arms for small children to sit on. When he decided he wasn’t going to do any more barbering, he sold that old chair to someone starting being a barber – for $15. When we found out it was gone, we tried to track it down, but couldn’t. It would be such an antique now! (One interesting sidelight – In our home at 230 South 100 East the bathroom was just through the wall from his barber room, and their was an open air vent on the wall between them. We had to be careful of any noise in the bathroom! – And often turned on the water, to cover sounds, or talking!)
I have many of the same memories that Vina and Mavis have, about our family life. I remember when we first started singing. We three girls would sing a melody, and Mom and Dad each took another part, to make a trio. We sang in Church several times. Then gradually, when Mavis was about 5 or 6, we begin to sing the same songs in trios. This proved to be such a wonderful time for us, singing trios for many years. The most memorable time was when we were allowed (as teen-agers) to go into the Temple, up an old wooden staircase into the balcony. From one of the lower balconies in the Temple spire, accapella (which we usually did) we sang "An Angel From On High" early on Easter Sunday, in a special meeting held below on the Temple grounds. Mother and Dad sang in many funerals, and other meetings throughout the years. I truly wish we had a recording of them singing. Joe “Mac”, (Joseph McAllister–the Dixie College vocal teacher) said that Dad had the “best untrained tenor” voice he had ever heard. He came from a very musical family, with his dad and brothers who all sang.
I love this picture! The picture of Dad with his hat and shirt and tie are so typical. He always wore a hat -- even in the house! He was a true gentleman!
We truly were born of goodly parents, who taught us the Gospel, and were wonderful examples. My greatest desire is to live in a way that brings them joy, and honor to the wonderful heritage I have. I could write much more, but I believe most of the stories are elsewhere in this book, or other books we have made, (referring to the book about Pal's ancestors.)
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