201. Insights about depression and anxiety -- especially about missionaries.
Yesterday a Senior couple gave their homecoming talk in our ward. They said some things that have given me an insight as to why some missionaries have problems, and perhaps come home early, even though they have a testimony, etc. She was a professional counselor before they left, and they were called to the South east part of the U.S., Alabama, etc., and were mental health counselors to 18 different missions.
She mentioned that before anyone goes on their missions, Heavenly Father knows how long they will be able to serve. She very kindly explained that whatever problem a person has, either physically or mentally, socially, etc., they take that with them on their missions. She said that if someone has diabetes, anxiety, depression, etc. and other physical ailments before their missions, the stresses of a mission add to what they already had problems with. She mentioned one young missionary whom they counseled, and he wanted so much to stay on his mission, but felt he was holding his companions back, as it was so hard for him to get up in the morning, and get into the work, -- and he had depression before he came out. She said sometimes they need medicine, (for depression etc.) and that this young missionary got medicine, and he was able to finish his mission.
But she told of another missionary who before he left had a hearing problem, some vision problems, anxiety, etc., and he wanted so badly to serve, that he didn't tell anyone about any of that before he left. One Sunday, he was writing on a chalk board in some lesson, and he had finally got to the point that he couldn't even think. He was confused mentally, etc. A kind Senior couple noticed his problem, and called the Mission President and suggested he talk to the missionary. These counselors were able to talk to him personally. He stayed out 10 and a half months, and then had to go home. But she kindly mentioned that he had such a strong testimony, and strong spirit, but his physical problems and prior depression simply created mental problems which were more than he could bear. She made an inspired statement saying that the Lord will not give us any more than we can bear, but often He gives us ALL that we can bear. He had borne his testimony to a group of missionaries before he went home, and told them he was so thankful that all his problems had come to a climax while serving the Lord, because he didn't know what he would have done if he had been home and had that kind of problems. He realized he needed help, and felt the Lord had helped him find what his problems were on his mission, and then after he got home he would take steps to get help.
She emphasized that for some missionaries 3 months is a full term mission, or 6 months, 18 months, and some can make it the full 2 years. But she said that when they received an honorable release, that that was all the Lord knew they could handle, or something to that effect. She said that out of all missionaries that came home for "medical" problems, 72% of them were actually emotional problems. But emotional problems can and do cause physical, etc. problems, for sure. They do usually get a "Medical" release, (honorable), but anxiety, depression, etc. often is actually the bottom of it. They always tried to help the missionaries who went home early to feel they had filled all the mission the Lord expected of them, etc., and that they should feel truly they had done their best. It was really an interesting talk.
To the Depressed and Suicidal: I Know How It Feels
I came home a year early from my mission because I was suffering from depression. To any missionary that is suffering: "Just as night is defeated by the dawn, or as the winter is conquered by the spring, or as the darkness is dominated by any degree of light, I know that you can make it through this."
Please SHARE this article with anyone who is suffering from depression.
Please SHARE this article with anyone who is suffering from depression.
To all that are struggling with depression,
I don’t know you. I don’t know who you are or where you’re from. I don’t know your background, nor do I know your unique circumstances. I don’t know if your depression is the result of your genetic disposition, or if it is caused by something terrible that happened to you in your past. I don’t know if you’re going through a major change in your life or if you’re struggling to cope with the loss of a loved one.
A winter scene by Leonid Afredmov
There are a lot of things about your fight with depression that I simply don’t know.
But let me tell you a few things that I do know.
I know how it feels.
I know how it feels to have no one understand what you’re going through.
I know how it feels to feel alone in a crowded room; to feel like you’re putting on a “happy mask” in public, only to feel like you’re slipping further and further into an unsolvable despair.
I know how it feels to lose interest in things that once brought you joy and happiness; for foods to lose their taste, for nature to lose its beauty, and for the world to lose its color.
I know how it feels to want to be left alone while simultaneously (and desperately) yearn for someone to reach out and help you.
I know how it feels to do everything—absolutelyeverything—to try to fill the growing emptiness inside of you. I know how it feels to try to self-medicate and mute the pain with anything and everything: excessive sleep, television, foods, pain killers, or other addictions.
I know how it feels to fall to your knees and beg God to free you from the terrible loneliness of the darkness in your mind—only to feel like the ground has opened beneath you, plunging you into an even darker abyss.
I know how it feels because I’ve suffered from depression since I was a kid. In 2006, my depression culminatedin a suicide attempt that very nearly claimed my life.
I know how depression feels and I’m intimately aware of the thoughts and feelings that lead to suicide.
But I also know a few other things. And this is why I’m writing to you.
I know there is hope.
Just as night is defeated by the dawn, or as the winter is conquered by the spring, or as the darkness is dominated by any degree of light, I know that you can make it through this.
And what’s more, I know that you can be a better person because of it.
Our lives are a journey on the earth. As we move forward, we will not only figuratively experience the geography of life: the exhilaration of high mountains, the tranquility of calm meadows, the isolation of treacherous canyons, but we also experience the seasons of life: the hope of spring, the abundance of summer, the harvest of autumn, and yes, the darkness and depression of winter.
Just as we continuously experience the change in seasons, we will also experience the contrast between canyons and mountains many times in our lives. Some winters and canyons last longer than others, it is true. But as someone who frequently struggles with depression, I can promise you that the springs do come and that there are paths out of the canyons and into the light.
“The Sun of Sicily” by Leonid Afremov
I said that you are going to be a better person as a result of your depression. I meant it. Having dealt with depression for over twenty years, I can say with confidence that my depression has given me an incomparable appreciation for life.
If you move forward while holding onto the knowledge that the sun will rise in your soul, I assure you that one day, you will stand at the summit of a figurative mountain and look back on your life’s journey. You will see your canyons of depression for what they were and realize that they taught you things you otherwise couldn’t have learned. And, to your utter amazement, you will see how your experiences with depression, dark and painful as they were, only added to the overall beauty of your life.
For aren’t the most beautiful vistas the ones that are filled with mountains, valleys, canyons, and wondrous variety?
To all who are struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts: you are not alone. We are all on this journey together. I promise you that there is hope. Let us reach out to one another and walk together in the sunlight.
- Seth
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