338. "Most putts don't drop",Most beef is tough,"! Excellent! By Maurine Proctor of Meridian Magazine
I found this inspiring article in Meridian Magazine this morning. It has already made my day, and hopefully it will yours also. It is a bit long, but every word is needed to understand the profound thoughts expressed. I have highlighted parts of this article.
I have a friend who has a beautiful building lot in the neighborhood where she lives in a rented house. She has the plans ready to go for building her new home. They include a lovely playroom for the children and a swing set in the backyard. Yet year after year went by and the money and opportunity did not materialize for her to build that home. The children grew beyond playrooms and swing sets while they lived in the rented home. The empty lot was there as a standing rebuke to her beautiful idea of what her life would hold. Sometimes she wept with disappointment.
To be human is to create, and among the things we are always busy creating is our mental picture of how our lives should be. This is useful and important to us. We need a mental picture of what tomorrow should look like so we can set goals and manage our workflow. It is our view of what life should be like tomorrow that gets us from point A to point B, that gives us a sweet vision that we then begin to make real. How adrift and lost we feel without our view of what we hope the future holds.
Yet our beautiful pictures can be a source of torment too. We are invested in our beautiful ideas. These pictures are precious to us. We have rolled them over in our minds a thousand times. We carry them with us like the atmosphere we breathe. They are the bright outlines of our future that follow us wherever we go.
The problem is mostly they don’t happen the way we think they will. Our life does not turn out looking very much like our picture. Our best-laid plans are foiled. The money doesn’t come through for the next project. We don’t become as wise or beloved as we thought we would over time. Our best efforts are private ones and go unnoticed. Our jobs are repetitive and sometimes tedious. The roof leaks. We get sick. The children have their own ideas about their life’s course and some wander off to siren’s songs.
This is not how we planned it. This is not how we saw our life unfolding in our tender hopes. And this can really hurt. Dashed dreams are harder to live with than skinned knees. The loss of our pretty picture, in fact, is what makes any trial harder. It is the irony of what we wanted most being what we seem to sometimes get the least that can be so galling.
Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed.
Our lives metaphorically have more empty building lots than we care to admit. In fact, that is why when President Gordon B. Hinckley used this quote in General Conference, it resonated so deeply, “Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to just be people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is like an old time rail journey…delays…sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling burst of speed.”
We identify because we have to admit that most of us hoped the putt would drop, the beef would be tender, the children would grow up to be paragons of virtue and achievement, the job would be significant and we would marry someone far more perfect than ourselves—or marry at all.
The common denominator there is disappointment. Sometimes the disappointment can be so intense that life’s circumstances leave us completely devastated. We did not expect our spouse to die young, to lose our job right before Christmas, to have a life-threatening illness made worse by mounting medical bills that we can’t imagine playing.
This is not the way it was supposed to be. As one woman I know often says, “How did I get here?” What she means is that she felt she made every good choice along the way only to end up in a place she didn’t intend.
Satan is a worm who burrows into our soul and finds where disappointment lies. He preys upon our disappointment. Disappointment is like a soft spot in our soul where we can be undone silently and steadily. The Adversary can exploit our wound and disappointment until it festers. We can feel robbed that some things we held precious about our vision of life have been stolen from us. We can feel damaged that who we hoped to be didn’t come to pass or that the people we counted on for certain things let us down.
We may add to our grief that God does not seem to be invested in the same picture of our lives as we are. We want him to be because we think that he should participate in making our picture reality. What, after all, is more precious to us than our dream of how things should be? We hope that God will make our secret vision of our lives an open reality, and if he doesn’t, we may be tempted to think that he has let down his part of the bargain. Doesn’t he want us to be happy?
He has a picture for our lives, too, and it far surpasses our own.
Indeed, he does want us to be happy. He has a picture for our lives, too, and it far surpasses our own. The problem is, we just can’t see it yet. We think our glorious mental picture of how our journey will unfold is the best possible. He tells us instead, “Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him” (1 Cor. 2:9).
This says we can’t see or comprehend the joy that the Lord has for us, but we have to trust what he is doing with us right now so that we are capable someday to receive his gift. That may feel like a huge requirement, especially when the beautiful picture that we hope would be our life is shattered. Yet, if we cling more fervently to our picture than to the Lord, we may live with a festering pain that leaves us vulnerable to the Adversary.
Some things we can change. Some things happen to us and our dreams that are completely out of our control. The Lord promises that He can make all things work together for our good.
General George Patton’s prayer during a bleak time in the Battle of the Bulge in World War II illustrates this. Things had been going very badly for the Allies and to add to their difficulties, the cold weather exacerbated their plight. With Hitler on one side and America on the other, Patton saw the war as the necessity of vanquishing evil. Patton recorded his angry prayer to God:
No matter what you might think of the sentiments of Patton’s prayer, the story is fascinating. What Patton was sure was an absolutely necessity for his winning picture was wrong. Completely wrong.
What we think is an absolute necessity for our lives to be what we wanted may also be completely wrong—or at least a shadow of what the Lord plans for us. We can make things so much easier for ourselves if we will let go of the death grip that we hold on to our expectations. If life didn’t turn out as you planned, you are in good company with most everyone else.
Another friend had a health problem that left her in desperate, sleepless pain that continued night after night until her entire frame was wracked, aching with exhaustion. She prayed through the night for the ability to fall to sleep. Why didn’t the Lord answer this prayer that seemed so reasonable, so utterly necessary? She called out to him again and again. “O Lord, have mercy on me.”
Finally, her prayer was answered, but not in the way she expected. Instead, an understanding came into her mind, a gift of knowledge from the Spirit. She was told that in another time and another place before this world was, she had prayed another prayer that was being answered in those very sleepless nights. She had wanted resilience, courage, strength and faith. She wanted a character that could arise in beauty and nobility. She wanted to lose her smallness and weaknesses. That fervent prayer from her pre-mortal experience was being answered now.
Disappointments in our lives can lead to murmuring which in turn can lead to resistance to the Lord. Nephi takes a different approach. “I did look unto my God, and I did praise him all the day long; and I did not murmur against the Lord because of mine afflictions” (See 1 Nephi 18: 10-16). Or we might add because his life took a different course than he might have imagined. That can be a most difficult affliction.
Elder Neal A. Maxwell said “Perhaps when we murmur we are unconsciously complaining over not being able to cut a special deal with the Lord.” Often, the special deal we would like to cut is that he participate in our vision of how things must be. But why would we want our life to be completely a reflection of our own image, “when it is the Lord’s image that we should have in our countenances”?
Even though we may not be happy with our circumstances or even the larger shape of our lives, it is an act of faith and trust to rejoice and be grateful where we are, knowing that as we draw close to God he is taking us exactly where we want to be.
“Most Putts Don’t Drop, Most Beef is Tough”
To be human is to create, and among the things we are always busy creating is our mental picture of how our lives should be. This is useful and important to us. We need a mental picture of what tomorrow should look like so we can set goals and manage our workflow. It is our view of what life should be like tomorrow that gets us from point A to point B, that gives us a sweet vision that we then begin to make real. How adrift and lost we feel without our view of what we hope the future holds.
Yet our beautiful pictures can be a source of torment too. We are invested in our beautiful ideas. These pictures are precious to us. We have rolled them over in our minds a thousand times. We carry them with us like the atmosphere we breathe. They are the bright outlines of our future that follow us wherever we go.
The problem is mostly they don’t happen the way we think they will. Our life does not turn out looking very much like our picture. Our best-laid plans are foiled. The money doesn’t come through for the next project. We don’t become as wise or beloved as we thought we would over time. Our best efforts are private ones and go unnoticed. Our jobs are repetitive and sometimes tedious. The roof leaks. We get sick. The children have their own ideas about their life’s course and some wander off to siren’s songs.
This is not how we planned it. This is not how we saw our life unfolding in our tender hopes. And this can really hurt. Dashed dreams are harder to live with than skinned knees. The loss of our pretty picture, in fact, is what makes any trial harder. It is the irony of what we wanted most being what we seem to sometimes get the least that can be so galling.
Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed.
Our lives metaphorically have more empty building lots than we care to admit. In fact, that is why when President Gordon B. Hinckley used this quote in General Conference, it resonated so deeply, “Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to just be people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is like an old time rail journey…delays…sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling burst of speed.”
We identify because we have to admit that most of us hoped the putt would drop, the beef would be tender, the children would grow up to be paragons of virtue and achievement, the job would be significant and we would marry someone far more perfect than ourselves—or marry at all.
The common denominator there is disappointment. Sometimes the disappointment can be so intense that life’s circumstances leave us completely devastated. We did not expect our spouse to die young, to lose our job right before Christmas, to have a life-threatening illness made worse by mounting medical bills that we can’t imagine playing.
This is not the way it was supposed to be. As one woman I know often says, “How did I get here?” What she means is that she felt she made every good choice along the way only to end up in a place she didn’t intend.
Satan is a worm who burrows into our soul and finds where disappointment lies. He preys upon our disappointment. Disappointment is like a soft spot in our soul where we can be undone silently and steadily. The Adversary can exploit our wound and disappointment until it festers. We can feel robbed that some things we held precious about our vision of life have been stolen from us. We can feel damaged that who we hoped to be didn’t come to pass or that the people we counted on for certain things let us down.
We may add to our grief that God does not seem to be invested in the same picture of our lives as we are. We want him to be because we think that he should participate in making our picture reality. What, after all, is more precious to us than our dream of how things should be? We hope that God will make our secret vision of our lives an open reality, and if he doesn’t, we may be tempted to think that he has let down his part of the bargain. Doesn’t he want us to be happy?
He has a picture for our lives, too, and it far surpasses our own.
Indeed, he does want us to be happy. He has a picture for our lives, too, and it far surpasses our own. The problem is, we just can’t see it yet. We think our glorious mental picture of how our journey will unfold is the best possible. He tells us instead, “Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him” (1 Cor. 2:9).
This says we can’t see or comprehend the joy that the Lord has for us, but we have to trust what he is doing with us right now so that we are capable someday to receive his gift. That may feel like a huge requirement, especially when the beautiful picture that we hope would be our life is shattered. Yet, if we cling more fervently to our picture than to the Lord, we may live with a festering pain that leaves us vulnerable to the Adversary.
Some things we can change. Some things happen to us and our dreams that are completely out of our control. The Lord promises that He can make all things work together for our good.
General George Patton’s prayer during a bleak time in the Battle of the Bulge in World War II illustrates this. Things had been going very badly for the Allies and to add to their difficulties, the cold weather exacerbated their plight. With Hitler on one side and America on the other, Patton saw the war as the necessity of vanquishing evil. Patton recorded his angry prayer to God:
“Sir, I can’t fight a shadow. Without Your cooperation from a weather standpoint, I am deprived of accurate disposition of the German armies and how…can I be intelligent in my attack? All of this probably sounds unreasonable to You, but I have lost all patience with Your chaplains who insist that this is a typical Ardennes winter, and that I must have faith. Faith and patience be [darned]. You just have got to make up Your mind whose side You are on. You must come to my assistance…
”Sir, I have never been an unreasonable man. I am not going to ask You to do the impossible. I do not even insist upon a miracle, for all I request is four days of clear weather.
“Give me four days so that my planes can fly, so that my fighter bombers can bomb and strafe, so that my reconnaissance may pick out targets for my magnificent artillery. Give me four days of sunshine to dry this blasted mud, so that my tanks roll, so that ammunition and rations may be taken to my hungry, ill-equipped infantry. I need these four days to send von Rundstedt and his godless army to their Valhalla. I am sick of this unnecessary butchering of American youth.”
Later Patton came back to the Lord in a more contrite prayer, “Sir, this is Patton again. And I beg to report complete progress. Sir, it seems to me that You have been much better informed about the situation than I was, because it was that awful weather which I cursed You so much which made it possible for the German army to commit suicide. That, Sir, was a brilliant military move, and I bow humbly to your supreme genius.”
No matter what you might think of the sentiments of Patton’s prayer, the story is fascinating. What Patton was sure was an absolutely necessity for his winning picture was wrong. Completely wrong.
What we think is an absolute necessity for our lives to be what we wanted may also be completely wrong—or at least a shadow of what the Lord plans for us. We can make things so much easier for ourselves if we will let go of the death grip that we hold on to our expectations. If life didn’t turn out as you planned, you are in good company with most everyone else.
Another friend had a health problem that left her in desperate, sleepless pain that continued night after night until her entire frame was wracked, aching with exhaustion. She prayed through the night for the ability to fall to sleep. Why didn’t the Lord answer this prayer that seemed so reasonable, so utterly necessary? She called out to him again and again. “O Lord, have mercy on me.”
Finally, her prayer was answered, but not in the way she expected. Instead, an understanding came into her mind, a gift of knowledge from the Spirit. She was told that in another time and another place before this world was, she had prayed another prayer that was being answered in those very sleepless nights. She had wanted resilience, courage, strength and faith. She wanted a character that could arise in beauty and nobility. She wanted to lose her smallness and weaknesses. That fervent prayer from her pre-mortal experience was being answered now.
Disappointments in our lives can lead to murmuring which in turn can lead to resistance to the Lord. Nephi takes a different approach. “I did look unto my God, and I did praise him all the day long; and I did not murmur against the Lord because of mine afflictions” (See 1 Nephi 18: 10-16). Or we might add because his life took a different course than he might have imagined. That can be a most difficult affliction.
Elder Neal A. Maxwell said “Perhaps when we murmur we are unconsciously complaining over not being able to cut a special deal with the Lord.” Often, the special deal we would like to cut is that he participate in our vision of how things must be. But why would we want our life to be completely a reflection of our own image, “when it is the Lord’s image that we should have in our countenances”?
Even though we may not be happy with our circumstances or even the larger shape of our lives, it is an act of faith and trust to rejoice and be grateful where we are, knowing that as we draw close to God he is taking us exactly where we want to be.
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