738. The Dangerous Lie About Depression Mormons Often Tell Ourselves but Should Never Believe, and 15 Powerful LDS Resources for Battling Depression, from Meridian Magazine
As Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming, these can be difficult and lonely times for some dear people. I have put together 2 articles about help for depression, or other forms of mental illness.
I send my love to all of you who may be experiencing these problems.
Today, I came across a disturbing study published in Pediatrics.
The study indicated that teen girls and young adult women are especially at risk for depression, which included those 12 to 20 years old.
While this is terrible, what I found most disheartening was while the rate of depression is rising, the number of those seeking treatment is not.
As someone who has struggled with depression, and as someone who has watched family members struggle with anxiety and depression, I know the importance of seeking personalized treatment for mental illnesses.
But I also know some reasons why it may be difficult for teens, especially Mormon teens, to seek treatment.
And the reason I didn't want to seek treatment was because I thought I could fix it by myself if only I was more spiritual.
► You'll also like: Church Shares Honest Video About Depression That Changes the Way We See It
When I was 16, I began struggling with depression.
All I wanted to do was sleep, which may seem typical of a teenager, but that's really all I did. I could barely get out of bed for school, and when I would come home, I would just go to my room to "study," which was just a cover for me to sleep without anyone checking to see what I was doing.
I didn't care about anything, including my grades, my friends, my family, or my future—I neglected everything and everyone I cared about.
To top it off, I was angry all the time. I was constantly fighting with my brother or my sisters and tried to push them away. I also struggled to have a civil conversation with my parents and wished they would just leave me alone.
To everyone else, I just seemed like a typical, emotional teenager. No one suspected something might be very wrong with me, including me. I just really wanted to be a normal teenager and I thought admitting something was wrong would somehow make me stand out in a bad way.
So I convinced myself I was just going through a rough patch like everyone else does from time to time and it would be over in a few weeks. If I prayed more earnestly, read my scriptures more, and was a nicer person, I would begin to feel better.
The problem was, I just didn't have the energy or the motivation to do things as well as I thought I should. And so I would start a bitter self-hate spiral every time I failed to measure up to what I thought I should be doing to feel happy.
And this went on for months.
My testimony started to wane, and I felt like all of this was happening because I wasn't spiritual enough or I wasn't a good enough person.
I still remember the moment that I started to realize that what was going on had nothing to do with my spirituality.
I was in my last class of the day sitting in my usual spot, looking at the equation my teacher had written on the board like every other day. Nothing in my demeanor would suggest I was struggling, but my teacher all of the sudden stopped mid-lecture, turned to me (I had never said a word in the class so far), and asked if I was okay.
I have no doubt that my teacher was prompted to ask that question because, at that moment, I felt a very strong prompting break through my cloudy mind that I was not okay and I needed help because this was not going to get better without it.
I nodded, somehow managing to hold back tears, and the teacher went on with the lesson.
It took a while, but eventually I worked up the courage to talk to my parents about how I was feeling. It was really difficult to admit that I couldn't fix this all by myself. But as I received personalized treatment, I began to see what I couldn't before: My depression had absolutely nothing to do with my testimony or strength of conversion to the gospel.
It was a real illness that did not happen because I wasn't a good enough Latter-day Saint. The fact that I could not fully feel the joy or the motivation I once felt from praying, reading the scriptures, and being kind to others was a huge indicator that something was seriously out of my control, not that I was failing as a member of the Church.
As I started to respond well to treatment, I realized that my problem wasn't so unique. I was able to talk with members of my family who also struggled with mental illness and I realized that receiving help doesn't make you broken, it helps heal you.
And while each battle with depression is different, I know that seeking help does not mean you are a failure as a Latter-day Saint or that you are a failing at any other aspect of your life.
It's not a bad thing to seek treatment or ask for help, and you might be surprised at how many people are willing to relate to you instead of judge you when you do.
"This dark night of the mind and spirit is more than mere discouragement," Elder Jeffrey R. Holland reminds Church members. "If things continue to be debilitating, seek the advice of reputable people with certified training, professional skills, and good values. Be honest with them about your history and your struggles. Prayerfully and responsibly consider the counsel they give and the solutions they prescribe. If you had appendicitis, God would expect you to seek a priesthood blessing and get the best medical care available. So too with emotional disorders. Our Father in Heaven expects us to use all of the marvelous gifts He has provided in this glorious dispensation."
15 Powerful LDS Resources for Battling Depression
The holidays are supposed to be a time of joy, but for many, it can be a time of intense depression. Seth Adam Smith, author of Marriage Isn't for You and the new novel, Rip Van Winkle and the Pumpkin Lantern, shares some of the most helpful LDS resources he's found to help him manage his longtime battle with depression.
As a Mormon who struggles with chronic depression, I’ve spent a lot of time searching for LDS resources on depression and suicide prevention. Listed below are some of the most helpful talks and articles that I have found. Before you read or listen to them, I want you to know that I have used these resources in conjunction with proper medical and professional help. Please understand that there is absolutely no shame in seeking outside help.
Carrie M. Wrigley gave this powerful speech at the 2005 BYU Education Week. It remains one of my all-time favorite talks on depression.
A blog post on mormon.org containing links to several resources on depression.
A BYU-Idaho Devotional address by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland in September 2014. Although his remarks are not specifically about depression, Elder Holland does share some profound insight about the “pursuit of happiness.” I’ve found his advice to be very helpful.
A thoughtful article from the October 2014 Ensign.
This is (in my opinion) one of Elder Holland’s greatest talks. Many of the ideas, themes, and principles he teaches can be applied to feelings of depression.
A mormon.org blog post that shares the story of Jenny Hess, a mother who struggled with depression after the loss of her child.
An article for parents whose children are battling chronic depression.
A great article for those who are trying to understand their spouse’s struggle.
In this article, a young woman tells the story of her prolonged battle with depression. She then shares five insights that helped her deal with her darker days.
In this October 1974 Conference address, President Benson shares a dozen gospel-centered ideas for fighting depression and despair.
A powerful talk by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, wherein he speaks openly and directly about depression and offers his advice, counsel, and comfort.
LDS author Ganel-lyn Condie shares personal and hopeful insight after her sister’s suicide.
A thoughtful article written by Elder Ballard that summarizes Mormon doctrine concerning suicide.
An article in LDS Living that offers helpful suggestions for supporting someone who is struggling with depression.
A Mormon Message about suicide awareness and prevention.
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In addition to the resources above, there are also several books about depression that are geared toward the LDS audience, such as:
Written from a uniquely LDS point of view, this informative and inspirational book offers important clinical information for dealing with depression, including an overview of the symptoms of depression and suggestions for choosing a therapist, considering the use of medication, and finding hope to move forward—one step at a time. In addition, it explores the spiritual healing that is essential to overcoming depression, showing how we can use the Atonement of our Savior to help us forgive, heal, and move forward.
This inspiring guide portrays the experience of the Vandagriff family, which struggled under depression for more than 25 years before relief came through the grace of Jesus Christ. G.G. Vandagriff and her son, Gregory, suffered the physical and emotional effects of depression while David Vandagriff endured the deep difficulty of trying to support his wife and son during the turbulent years of their illness. Yet in the midst of great strife, the family saw the hand of God revealed in the form of inspired physicians, effective medications, and, most importantly, the direct influence of the Spirit. Written in turns by mother, son, and father, this poignant and uplifting account shows how to rely on the Spirit during times of adversity and draw on the Savior's blessings of peace, hope, and healing.
In this book, Dr. Judith Stay Moore shows us a faith-based approach for getting back in touch with our true self, voice, and worth—and to enjoy our one life—even through all or our losses and messes.
From time to time, everyone experiences some form of depression, whether a touch of the blues or a feeling of utter despair. Dr. Richard King Mower offers concrete ideas on how to fight off depression and live a happier, more productive life. He explains how to cope with loneliness and grief, control anger and guilt, and develop the healthy self-esteem necessary to serve others.
Growing up, Misti thought she had a pretty normal childhood—right up until the sixth grade. That's when she began to notice things, like how she was constantly aware of every blink of her eyes. How any normal physical thing could become an enemy that her brain would replay over and over again. She tried talking to her parents about it, but family dysfunction and parental control issues wouldn't let them see her problem for what it was. So she did everything she could to hide it. It would take her many more years to attach a name to her tortuous condition—Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. But after many more years of struggling, praying, and counseling, Misti experienced the miracle she had been seeking—she was healed. So she's done hiding. This is her story of suffering through—and eventually being healed of—OCD, anxiety, and depression through the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. This is her story of how the Lord turned her deepest struggles into her greatest blessings.
