1314. Difficult but happy days! Raising our own family!

 Dear Readers,

I just found something I had written on my computer, copied from an old large journal I had for many years.  Times were quite different then.  It was about in 1971, as I wrote that Jeremy my youngest of nine children, wouldn't be born for 3 more years.  We then had eight children, ages  15 down to a baby, and life was quite hard, but enjoyable, as I had always wanted a large family.  I'll let you figure out why I wrote some of this, as I wanted to remember in years when life would be easier.  My husband was an Elementary Teacher, and I didn't work outside the home.  I gave some piano lessons when I could.  Women didn't work in those days nearly as much as they do now. There is a story behind much of what I wrote, so perhaps you can figure it out!  So here it is:

                             

This photo was taken at our Golden Wedding Celebration in 2005, when our children were grown. Oldest to youngest right to left..
                                                

   Pal’s Journal Began May 27, 2013 Monday – To when I moved up with Wayne, in April 2017.

 First of all, I’m putting in something that was in the back of the tall journal – which I wrote when I had small children at home, etc.  

Written Sept. 13, 1971 Pam 8 mo, and Tacy 3, home, Angela in afternoon kindergarten.  (Jeremy wouldn’t be born for around 3 more years!)

Things I hope to remember when I am more organized, 

when the children are older or in school, when I have grandchildren, or children married, or just to understand others and not forget trying times.  I have 8 children now from 15 years old to 8 mo.

     I want to remember to have dinner with grandchildren whenever it is best for the family and to remember children’s naps. And that they need to have regular dinner hours, etc.  Have a toy box, other things to entertain grandchildren, so they will like to come.  Have 1 or 2 grandchildren at my home at a time–teach them something – handicrafts, sewing, cooking, et . And really get to know them.

    Not criticize grandchildren in a way that they feel you don’t like them or feel they are lazy, dirty, etc.  Don’t go to visit or eat on Sunday, holidays or birthdays when they have small children and the house gets cluttered easily as it cause too much work for the family and especially the mother to get a meal and the house cleaned – and there are so many duties with the children on those days.

    Do not criticize one married child to another one, or tell if my feelings have been hurt, as this tends to create enmity and grudges between them, and to sidle with me against another one.  Invite families of my children to our house for dinner now and then, and not just go to theirs.  Invite grandchildren to sleep at my house even if they live in the same town.  If I want to give clothes, find out sizes, their likes and dislikes in styles, so as to not waste money on things they won’t use.

This was taken about the time I wrote this -- Wayne and three sons.

   Keep track of what I give enough to not duplicate gifts – give gifts on birthdays and Christmas and not just money (but money’s better unless you can find out what a child would like, or give nice books, etc.)  

     I want to remember how it is to not have money to get fresh food, apples, bananas, etc.  to skimp and eat same things over and over, and be so hard up we write a check or 2 or 3, and hope they don’t get to the bank before we can deposit more.–to remember for the children to want allowances or to earn money even and us not have any to spare for it–no money for vacations or shows, new clothes, etc., to buy as much as I can from the As Is, and Deseret Industries and still go with out all but necessities.

    To remember needing money, not being able to pay all bills each month, charging when necessary–Remember about having a big argument about spending $4 to go to Saratoga when we owed lots of bills.  Be understanding of children being dirty, not cleaned up, remember when mine were.

   Not get my feelings hurt if not invited somewhere (a certain wedding etc.) and realize there may be a mistake or a reason.  Not feel hurt if there are certain times our children may not be able to come see us, help us, etc., realize they may be so very busy with their own families and children.

    Remember to take food to a mother who has a new baby – is ill while expecting – has a lot of children and some are ill, – try to help them if possible – ironing – or just tending their children while they do their own work.  Not be onery or critical of my husband as we get older–alone or in front of anyone –  Remember when 1st married I wasn’t used to housework – how things were cluttered and dishes not done regularly.  Then with 1, 2, and on up – when babies were a year or under, or I was expecting and didn’t feel good, or children or I were ill – the house simply didn’t come first – remember days things were so very cluttered, and sometimes dirty, couldn’t change beds, or babies often enough – sink sometimes went days before I got to bottom of it (sideboards cluttered for days, washing behind and had to hunt for socks, shoes, ironing behind) Days when children quarreled with each other and I also argued and quarreled, and kids were embarrassed to bring friends home. 

Brigham Young says we don’t always know when we are happy – that we have to have unhappy times to know the difference.  That is why I want to remember when so bogged down with crying babies – children , and not enough help to take care of their needs and house too– and how it sometimes makes me critical or onery with kids who don’t help enough, or quarrel and tattle.  When I’m so busy and may be tired and sick and have to take care of babies, children, even when I don’t feel well enough to.

This is one of our favorite photos!  Taken near that time.

I want to remember to not be critical of another’s house – and remember circumstances may be the reason things are disrupted.  Many times my house was clean and no one came and dirty and several came!   I want my children to enjoy having me come and remember to let them know if we’re coming, or not expect to see things all in order, and not feel critical of such a situation and not embarrass them by giving an idea I don’t feel it is clean enough.

     Remember morning sickness and be compassionate of anyone with it.  If ever any misunderstandings result between me and grandchildren or married children I want to be 1st to go and apologize, in person if at all possible.   Don’t criticize my children, (married now I’m thinking) to anyone else–they remember it long after I’ve forgotten the trouble.

  Remember fads etc. among youth are common and if not immodest are not serious and not to be belittled.  Remember some of my children weren’t potty trained until 3 – close to 4 years, and had a battle a long time.  Call my children often – not wait for them to call me (They could have sickness, be busy, etc.) and write once a week to those away from me–Write letters to each grandchild, and encourage them to write.  Try to remember the Devil is the one who brings discord – grudges, hurt feelings, and makes me irritated at things I might otherwise with love not be annoyed at, and try to understand why, If I feel critical of others, it’s the devil making me. 

I just love this photo of my mother, and one of my grandchildren and one of my sister's.  Don't you love the look on my Mother's face!